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Love Advice Forum Thread: Did I ruin my chances? Told him we cant be just friends

  1. #1
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    Did I ruin my chances? Told him we cant be just friends

    I really need genuine opinions. I have been dating this guy for one year. When he started dating both of us were healing from our previous breakup. So we spent a lot of time discussing our feelings and what we felt. He told me then that he had loved once very seriously but then that girl cheated on him and since then he has never felt real love...

    Time passed. we grew closer and closer... He was very attentive to me... I had the best time of my life with him... He held my hand in public... however he never called me his girlfriend and never told me that he loves me.. I also never told him that being afraid to be rejected.

    Two weeks ago he said he think we need to break up.. as nothing happens, That he loves me and respects me but doesn't feel in love.. He said maybe that will help us understand what we fell better... So we broke up. Two days later he called me to ask how I am. Then we started talking for a week as friends. I told him I cant talk him like tat and that it hurts me. He agreed upon contact. However two days later he called again. I b hoped he was back, but he wasn't.. We started talking as if nothing has happened however he didnt invite em for a a date for a whole week. So Yesterday i told him again that i cant go on like that. It pains me when we talk as friends, that he is important to me. He went angry and said he feels he has done a mistake to call me if it pains me and told me he wild delete me from Facebook. However he didn't.


    Did i ruin my chances to get him back one day by telling him i don't want us to be friends and that if he is not with me then i need to move on?>

  2. #2
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    I don't think you ruined your chances because it seems like you didn't have much of one in the first place. If you don't want to be friends because it hurts you then that is your right. I would just try move on from him because if you can't be together and can't be friends then there is no point in communicating further.

  3. #3
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    If he were indifferent to me, he wont date me for a year....

  4. #4
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    He is only wanting a friendship with you. It would be wise to keep your distance from him. Your heart needs to heal. You went from a broken relationship to both of you leaning on each other for support. You fell in love with him. He loves you as a friend. You need to decide if you want him as just a friend (think of him like a brother) or not having him in your life. ((Big hugs))

  5. #5
    Senior Member Don Quixote's Avatar
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    Sounds like both of you want different things. He wants a friend. You want a lover. I would suggest that you re-consider your position. It's not everyday that you can find a good friend. Don't just break-up because he can't be your lover.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ACSAPA's Avatar
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    He said that he doesn't feel in love with you. He has respect for you and cares for you, but the romantic attraction is not there.
    If you can't be friends with him, then you were right to let him know that you can't be satisfied with friendship.
    I don't think it hurt your chances because he broke up with you and didn't try to stop you or get you back when you said you couldn't be friends.

  7. #7
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    but maybe there is some way to get him back as a lover... as there were moments when he behaved as if he was in love with me, like we acted like bf and gf

  8. #8
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    If you take him back as a lover and be friends with benefits, you are setting yourself up for heartache. You might be happy to have him back at first, but since you have feelings for him, you will always want more and end up feeling resentful when his feelings do not change like you want them to. I've been there done that and wasted a few year's of my life hoping he would change his mind.

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