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Love Advice Forum Thread: husband texting another woman

  1. #1
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    husband texting another woman

    I just found out my husband has been texting another woman. I went through his phone and found 30+ texts and they seemed pretty flirtatious. He didn't say that he loved her or anything but it sure seemed like there was a lot of teasing and flirting going on.

    I'm not sure what to do. I'm in shock

  2. #2
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    My partner knows me to ba straightforward and quite blunt when it comes to these matters, so if ever this happens to me, I will go straight to the point. I will COMMAND him to stop doing what they are doing, or else....

    It's true that women can be so inconsiderate at times. These women who flirt with a committed man, they find the flirting act a challenge that's why they do it. They seems to have a assurance that they have the "factor" to make a man fall or flirt with them despite him wearing a wedding ring. It's like "hey, men cannot resist me even if they are married, they still want me!" attitude, and who does not want that, right? It's telling these women that because men who are committed still go gaga with them, they are given a good price in the marketplace.

    Now, what to do? If you have the attitude like mine, then go straight to what you want. Of course you want to put a stop to this, right? Then tell him not ask him (that's two different things). Don't you sound begging for it...have a commanding voice and tell him the consequence of what might happen if this continues. For the meantime, why not get your husband's attention so he do not give a glance to the woman who's been flirting with him. Make him go gaga over you by FLIRTING WITH HIM! Yeah, do what this woman is doing. Sometimes men just miss the feeling of being flirted with. Do you still do that? Don't stop flirting with each other for he will seek for it and go for other women who willingly provide discreetly. Act as if you are still college couples, go intimate with each other, seduce him in public places, everything that awakens his manhood. Go!! Do that now!!

  3. #3
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    I actually just dealt with this myself, at first it started out as just them texting (they were friends from highschool and she is an ex-girlfriend) but then the flirting started and she sent him at, lets just say, very revealing picture on his phone. I like to think as myself as open-minded so I kind of just blew it off and laughed about it but then she sent another it is infuriated me. Also we are talking about hundreds of text message between the two of them. He told me about them but then he started not to tell me about them and I checked phone bill and saw them. Also she was sending texts to him when he was home with us. I had had enough and told him he needed to stop talking to her period. I believe this is what you need to do, tell him you know that he is sending texts to this woman and that you would appreciate it if it would stop before it turns into something more than it already is. If he respects you he will stop, it is possible that he does not see anything wrong with it because he is not doing anything physical with this woman but you will not know until you confront him about it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member M.H.West's Avatar
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    If I ever caught my husband doing this, for I am very territorial, I would take his phone and text the woman myself. I would act like him and basically tell her to take her slutty little self somewhere else. Then I would confront my husband. My view and he knows it, is that there is no contact other than work related with other females unless I know about and approve it in the first place. So, I would give him a warning and start checking his phone regularly. If it continues, I would leave him because apparently he doesn't care enough about my feelings to bother with.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mommymumbles's Avatar
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    I like your idea. M.H. West! Texting her as if it were your husband But in answer to the question, I would be furious. Absolutely furious and hurt. I don't know what I would do to be honest. Definitely confront him about it for one thing. Does he know you know about the texting? Maybe you could text the woman, acting like your husband, and somehow lead her into revealing more about this relationship they have. Then I would sit down and tell him you know about the texts and how hurt you are. I guess depending on what he says, you will know what to do next.

    I am sorry you are going through this, and I hope it all works out. Hopefully he will apologize and be sincere, and hopefully it was just silly flirting he got caught up in.

    Good Luck and {hugs.}

  6. #6
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    That's really tough, but I agree with West, but instead of me texting, I would watch while he texted her back and told her something similar. If it doesn't stop, I would definitely leave. He would need to choose--I am not down with my man texting flirty messages with other women.

  7. #7
    Senior Member zaerine's Avatar
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    I like the idea to try text her as if you are your husband and maybe you could find out more. They might have some codes or whatever that you might break cause if not always, evidence matters. It is because some guys will just says it was just text and nothing more. And I also agree that you should tell him not to text that girl anymore or else...

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    Every relationship starts with a flirt which can be through a test or an action. Sometime these flirts can be innocent or not, but for a married man, they can never be because he is in a commitment so he should not be flirting with anyone. It shows that he still admires other women out there beside you. You should ask him for clarification because if you don't, you will never trust him again and you will always be thinking that he is cheating on you. Don't wait for the situation to blow up on your face, deal with it now to stop it before it begins.

    Get answers from him to be sure and for your doubts to clear.

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    I like the idea zaerine. You could gather more information about this woman and to know more if she is just a flirt or something else to your husband. hopefully not though. I do hope you'd get to fix the matter. In the first place, he shouldn't be texting.

  10. #10
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    Agree! I would do the same. Tell the chick to get lost and confront him. There should be no reason for him to be flirting with another woman. He will have to have his trust gained back, and if he were to continue with the texting/flirting relationship, it would be time for him to go. Obviously he wants something else. Hope it works out for you, hon! I can imagine how hurt you must be.

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