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Love Advice Forum Thread: How to tell whether or not someone you met online is for real?

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    How to tell whether or not someone you met online is for real?

    I am skeptical about online dating as you get to meet total strangers; and who knows you will come across sex predators or offenders, violent criminals, fraudsters among other crooks. So please share some tips on how to determine if someone you met on a dating site is indeed for real... thanks and happy dating!

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    Senior Member zaerine's Avatar
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    I do not join any dating site but I think one way to check if the person you meet online is real or saying the truth about himself is through his personal account in Facebook. Adding him as friend on a social networking site where he has real photos, family and friends could help you know him better.

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    Member angeldrb's Avatar
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    I think the only way to know for sure is to meet him face-to-face. If it's not possible due to distance problems, it might be best if you check him out on any social sites and observe how he communicate and interact with his friends and family.

    I don't really go to online dating sites because most of the people there are fakes. But given that there are real love stories that started with online dating, you can surely give it a try.

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    Senior Member ath3n4's Avatar
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    There is no way of knowing, even if you meet a person vis-a-vis he can still play a role. :/ There are just some professional cons so.. you won't be able to tell even if you meet them. I guess one of the best way to know a person is to observe the people he knows and who're around him.
    Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be

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    I haven't joined any dating websites recently, because I also am a skeptic of them. From what I have heard many of the dating websites require members to pay a membership fee. I would think that that would help weed out the fakes. Who would want to spend money to lie & deceive people?

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    Internet is packed with a lots of scam and fake people. But there are still a number of good ones you can meet online. The best way, I think is to meet each other. Basic instinct will tell you the way he chose his words, his opinions, manner of speaking etc will give you an idea who he is. And of course, don't give your trust on him right away.

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    Well I try to get them to cam chat with me so I know what they look like. Pictures can be so deceiving and people like to get all wild on Photoshop so I always ask to cam chat a few times so I get an idea what they look like. I also like to add them on Facebook to see how they interact with their friends and stuff like that. If they're not so big on FB then you can try to google their name and look for more info on them. Hope these tips help!

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    Junior Member Neverinvalid's Avatar
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    Dating, online or in real life involves a level of trust. Just like you shouldn't blindly trust every bloke you meet at the corner store, you can't always trust everyone that you meet online. Saying that though, it is important to note that not EVERYONE on the internet is a predator or thief. Some are just like you, looking for someone to talk to, a companion.
    Be wary, talk to them as you would talk to someone in a dating situation. Take note of the small details they give you, and revisit them at times. Did they change their story? Did what they tell you before match what they told you when you brought it up a second time? Don't be accusatory, just try to work it in to normal conversation.
    For instance, if they once told you that they went to law school then somewhere down the line you could bring up something that pertains to that in normal conversation. 'Man, my buddy is in so much trouble with a DUI he got the other day, I really wish I knew what to tell him, or how to help.' Judge their response to that. Small things like that can help verify a back story.

    There are also more sneaky and underhanded things that can be done, Google searches, background checks, people finding sites, but beware, you may find out things that bother you, but do not necessarily make them a bad person, or a conman. The other person may also find out, and be offended. Generally, I use common sense, and natural instinct. If I feel I NEED to search someone out on the internet, then there are probably other alarms that have been set off, and I should just walk away anyways.
    I don't need a happy ending, I just need someone to walk the road with me.

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    Junior Member xcmiller93x's Avatar
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    I am dating someone I met online right now. We have not met in person right now yet, but we hope to. I'm 18 and he is 17, so I don't have any worries about him being a pedophile or anything, ha. We have Skyped before, so I know he is a real person and not just someone pretending to be him.
    Lee11 likes this.

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    Senior Member Sandra Piddock's Avatar
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    All you can do is look for pointers. Is he/she consistent in the things they share with you? If things don't seem to add up, then perhaps they're not being totally honest with you. Work out a few questions to ask, and ask the same questions two or three weeks down the line. If the answers are different, or if they come over all defensive and want to know why you're asking the same questions, ask yourself why this should be. On the Internet, everyone can be anonymous if they choose, so you need to have a way of checking. Genuine people will respect you for that, and will not get angry.

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