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Love Advice Forum Thread: Is it Wrong to Date a Person You Don't Even Like?

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    Is it Wrong to Date a Person You Don't Even Like?

    I think I know the answer, but I just want to see what other people think about this issue. There is this guy who I think wants to go out, but he hasn't asked me out yet. I haven't totally given in to his hints because I'm not sure if I really want to date the guy. He is really not my type, but I do think he could be a great man. He has a job, nice car, no kids(i think), and very well-mannered. I'm not dating anybody right now, but maybe I should to pass the time away until I find the right one. However, if I do this then I would be leading him on and I don't want to do that. I'm thinking I could be upfront and honest by letting him know I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but some casual fun. The tricky part is I don't want to fall for this guy! My Mom ended up marrying my Dad and she didn't like him in the beginning. The truth is I'm still hooked on this one guy online which by the way is in and out of my life and I'm just hoping in some way or fashion we could hit off, but I know realistically it is not going to happen. We just connect so well and with this new guy we just don't have the same connection. Okay, spill it out.. what do you all think?

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    Personally, I'm a fan of honesty. I would say if you decide to go out with him then be up front about the casual relationship with nothing serious in mind. If he wants something more serious then don't do it. Be honest with yourself as well.

    How can you not like him but still be considering dating him? If you don't like him, you don't like him.

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    You said, he's a great man. I don't think he's going to conclude (on your first date) that you really like him. Go out as friends, and see how would you feel about him afterwards. He's nice, has a stable job, and well-mannered. Just because you're Mom had that experience doesn't mean that you're going to be like her. You control your own life, and remember...there are only a few good men.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mslicia View Post
    I think I know the answer, but I just want to see what other people think about this issue. There is this guy who I think wants to go out, but he hasn't asked me out yet. I haven't totally given in to his hints because I'm not sure if I really want to date the guy. He is really not my type, but I do think he could be a great man. He has a job, nice car, no kids(i think), and very well-mannered. I'm not dating anybody right now, but maybe I should to pass the time away until I find the right one. However, if I do this then I would be leading him on and I don't want to do that. I'm thinking I could be upfront and honest by letting him know I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but some casual fun. The tricky part is I don't want to fall for this guy! My Mom ended up marrying my Dad and she didn't like him in the beginning. The truth is I'm still hooked on this one guy online which by the way is in and out of my life and I'm just hoping in some way or fashion we could hit off, but I know realistically it is not going to happen. We just connect so well and with this new guy we just don't have the same connection. Okay, spill it out.. what do you all think?
    What I would say is, focus your attention on the guy that is floating in and out of your life and see if that will work. Once you see if there is anything possible, you may change your views. Don't lead the other guy on. Let him know you like him as a friend, but that is it. Let that guy focus on someone that wants a guy that will turn into a great man. Don't waste his time.

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    I think you should be honest with him, let him know that you are just not ready for a relationship with him and want to take things slow. He may just surprise you and be the right guy for you. I always go out with the same type of guys and this one guy asked me out that wasn't my type at all. I said yes and we had the best dates ever. No it didn't work out because we both were so busy at the time but I still can say I'm glad he changed my mind about dating different types of people. What do you have to lose? Just don't lead him on like the other posters said, honesty is always best.

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    Tell him up front you are not looking for a relationship but I fail to see where you need to go any further until you have actually had a date. You might be surprised and discover you like him more than you thought you would. First dates are about exploring a connection to see if there is anything there and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. If you have told him you are not interested in a relationship then there is no reason why you can't just sit back, relax and enjoy being out. Who knows...it might light a fire under the other guy because you know men always want what they think they can't have!

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    How could you date a person you don't even like? How could you bare to even be around them? In my opinion you are just looking to aggregate yourself. It is alo keeping you from your true destiny.

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    I have to echo the previous posters and ask: HOW could you even date someone you didn't like? Why would you? To "pass the time away?" Well, if you decide to go that route you definitely need to be honest and upfront about your intentions. I'm not even sure why you would be considering this. Couldn't you find a guy you are actually compatible with to pass the time?

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    I'm confused, you're asking about dating someone you don't even like but you're afraid to fall for him? It sounds like you do like him and are afraid to give him a shot. Give him a chance, he may be your dream man after all! The other guy sounds too flighty to waste your time on anyways. Plus, it's a date, this is what dates are for, to get to know people. Dating doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life with them.

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    I don't believe it is fair to date someone you have no intention of continuing some kind of relationship with in the future. But I don't believe that you have to go into a relationship knowing that you are sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or anything. If the relationship ends up being just friends, so be it.

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