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Love Advice Forum Thread: How to be more assertive in bed?

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    Junior Member HaddySkelly's Avatar
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    How to be more assertive in bed?

    My boyfriend told me the other day that he likes it when I'm assertive or more "aggressive" when we're fooling around in the bedroom. Obviously this means that I do it a bit naturally, but I would also like to do some things more consciously to help rev him up.
    What are some tips to be more assertive or dominant? Also, I'd like to stay away from the more kinky stuff, for now. (He's pretty vanilla).

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    Senior Member Don Quixote's Avatar
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    I would suggest that you become more seductive rather than assertive. This assertive thing sounds kind of aggressive to me. Seductive on the other hand has a lot to do with being sexy. That's what fooling around is all about, isn't it?

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    Basically, and it really is this easy... Initiate sex when you aren't supposed to. Touch him while he is driving. Send him a dirty text, REALLY dirty text, at work. Go on a date with him and basically fool around in public. Please trust me on this one.
    taskeinc likes this.

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    Senior Member taskeinc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keenly View Post
    Basically, and it really is this easy... Initiate sex when you aren't supposed to. Touch him while he is driving. Send him a dirty text, REALLY dirty text, at work. Go on a date with him and basically fool around in public. Please trust me on this one.
    I agree with Keenly. Also, take the lead in the bedroom, don't wait for him to make the move, you make the move. Be the dominant one in the bedroom, as if you are TAKING it from him. Guys like that, or, I'll speak for myself, I'd LOVE that from a woman, because it's rare that a woman just takes over, and dominates the bedroom (and I'm just speaking from my own experience). Some women can be a little aggressive after you get started, but I'm speaking of taking over, and dictating what happens, from start to finish.

    There's been one woman in my life , shortly after my divorce, that dominated me in the bedroom (and it was not kinky sex). She took over from start to finish. She was very aggressive, she wore nice lingerie sets; she showed up one night with a coat on, when she opened the coat, she had an extremely sexy nightie on (and this was out of the blue, I had no idea she would show up like that). She took me right then and there, on the floor, then we moved to the bedroom and she wore my azz out! I kid you not ..

    This particular woman found all my spots (guys have hot spots too) and concentrated on those areas throughout our love-making sessions. She knew exactly what she was doing..

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    Junior Member HaddySkelly's Avatar
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    Thanks for the suggestions, guys. It's nice to note that I already do some of these things, so I must be doing something right. By what was said I can see it's not only taking the lead, but also the attitude . . .
    I'll also be sure to pay lots of attention to his sweet spots other than the obvious and prolong foreplay . . . until he's begging. Hahaha.

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