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Love Advice Forum Thread: My boyfriend and I don't have sex often

  1. #1
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    My boyfriend and I don't have sex often

    Sooooo I'm new here and looking for an unbiased perspective on the lack of sex in my relationship.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Yet we've known eachother for a few years. There is a 10 year age difference, I'm 30 he's 40. This is the only problem in our relationship.

    We don't have sex nearly as often as I would like. Like once a week or even weeks. When we do have sex, its great. Lots of forplay, he's very well endowed. He does have an issue with premature ejaculation, which I really don't mind. After a short break, usually we continue.

    I have brought this up to him. He says life just gets in the way. We've both been sick, my kids wake up in the middle of the night, so on and so on. He said he didn't see it as an issue but will make a point to make it more frequent. That hasn't been any better and that talk was a month. I have also made sure to be the one to initiate it but I've been turned down so many times that I don't do it any more as I don't take rejection well.

    Please help!

  2. #2
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    It sounds like he has a low sex drive. There is nothing wrong with that. The media like to make us think men are nothing more then sex crazed animals who will hump anything that moves.

    As long as you are both happy I would not make a big deal about this. Just keep letting him know how interested you are in him.

  3. #3
    Senior Member shaun's Avatar
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    I don't see what being very well endowed has to do with it. Anyway, you need to find time to be together and the rest will happen naturally, so long as he is relaxed. Stress will kill his sex drive so you need to do what you can to help him feel relaxed and comfortable.

  4. #4
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    Well, my boyfriend and I have a 13 year difference. Recently I discover that since for the past days we havent see each other, the three days we did the sex was great. however, prior to that we didnt have sex as often I will like. So yes, he said that " I see you every nigth" " it cant wait to the next day". And then a week pass by. I think the fact he knows you are there full time with them, is a caused. Also the age difference is an important factor.

  5. #5
    Pat
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    Working out a time that is good for the both of you does take time. If you are not getting enough satisfaction from his you can help yourself out every once in awhile. No two people are going to have the same desire for sex all the time. So do not pressure him to preform just find some way to help yourself relieve the pressure.

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    Senior Member taskeinc's Avatar
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    You said you were looking for an "unbiased perspective" so here goes. This will not be the popular thing to say but I try to be real with my responses without hurting any feelings, and that's a rather thin line.

    There is a possibility that physical attraction and/or hygiene might be an issue. If your mate is not having problems with E.D. (erectile dysfunction), aside from him recently being sick, he's a healthy heterosexual, and you have tried to initiate sex, there's a strong possibility there are underlying factors that have nothing to do with his schedule, or "life getting in the way." Heck, most guys will take a quickie over no sex at all, if he has a busy schedule.

    Most of my 6-year marriage I couldn't stand my ex-wife and she couldn't stand me, but the one thing we always enjoyed was sex; often, and we would even have sex in odd places ..once in a large library, downtown, there was a festival going on outside, so the library was relatively empty, we found an isolated, small auditorium, got in a quickie and within 20 minutes we were back outside enjoying the street festival.... Opa!

    My point, even though we were rarely on the same page, I was always physically attracted to her and she was toward me, therefore, it didn't take much to get aroused.

    I'm not insinuating that there's cheating going on, but there are some other factors involved with his inconsistent sexual appetite.

    Now here's the part you might not want to hear/read and I'll speak for MYSELF. My sex drive is very high, but if a woman is too many pounds over-weight, or, if we start having sex, and there's an immediate odor that surrounds us, both scenarios are "turn-offs," for ME. Again, I am not speaking for other guys, I am only speaking for myself. So even though I have a high sex drive, that drive doesn't kick-in if there's something about a woman that physically turns me off. This would not be applicable to my wife, if I were married, nor is it applicable to a girlfriend, because the fact that we're together would mean that's not an issue. I'm not the type of guy to require my woman to be in good physical condition, and that not be applicable to me, that would not be fair.

    I could be wrong, and please accept my apology if anything I've stated offends you.
    Last edited by taskeinc; 01-16-2013 at 08:23 PM.

  7. #7
    Senior Member mz_angie1987's Avatar
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    Don't worry about your age difference because that's not an issue. Everyone is different and apparantly he has a low sex drive. I know how frustrating that can be considering the fact that I am in a relationship with someone who never wants to have sex with me and we have now been together for one year and one month. At the beginning, he was the same way, he never wanted to have sex. I believe when a couple first get together, that's when they have sex the most and in our case it didn't happen that way. I thought things would be different after we have dated for a while and nothing has changed. So, I feel and know what you are going through. I wish you the best and hopefully things change.

  8. #8
    Senior Member claudine's Avatar
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    I think some people don't like having sex too often - maybe he is one of them. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. I don't think you should initiate anything...at least not directly. But buy yourself lovely lingerie and a new sexy dress And make sure you'll have time just for yourself

  9. #9
    AFV
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    I would say, don't let the idea of sex dominate your life. A relationship is so much more than the physical aspects of it, which I am sure that you know. Don't worry! Maybe it's just that your sex drives aren't compatible. He's trying his best to provide what you desire, but sometimes it takes too much of a toll on his body. Stuff in life happens, and that will have its affect on people.

  10. #10
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    Testosterone supplements are beneficial to men with low sexz drive. There are tons of testosterone boosting supplements in the market, and while some are really good, some might not be what they seem. Look for supplements that have been scientifically backed up by medical research.

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