So, as long as I can remember, I have been really into two men together in the same way that most straight men like seeing two females together.
I am married to a man who has always joked about liking men, but had never done anything with them. Last year, he fooled around with a guy, with my permission, but didn't go very far with him.
So, that brings me to a few days ago. He exchanged phone numbers with a guy we used to go to high school (the guy came and visited him at work.. from now on, we'll just call that guy Steve). They were flirting and I told my husband that it was fine if they decided to hook up. My husband went out with him that night and they ended up giving each other head but no penetration.
Last night he wanted Steve to come over, which was fine with me. I personally wanted to watch or at least see them kiss because it is such a turn on for me. Well, Steve came over and it was awkward for bit. I told my husband to kiss him and didn't give him anymore instruction on what to do. I was being shy and was barely watching them kiss, just because it felt a bit private to me. Well then my husband started to give him head right in front of me. There was never a said agreement between Steve and I that I could watch. It felt weird to me because Steve is fully gay- he isn't bisexual so I'm not sure if he would appreciate a woman watching.
They fooled around for about five minutes. I was watching out of the corner of my eye, but not staring. I fiddled around with the TV so I could look busy. I wanted to watch but nothing was said that showed me that I was invited to, I guess. Eventually my husband turned around to look at me and I said, "You guys can go in the room." and so they did. Then I just had to listen to my biggest fantasy happen without me being able to watch.
Afterwards, Steve came out and apologize over and over again. Apparently he felt really bad. I think he thought I was jealous when that wasn't the case at all. I still couldn't bring myself to tell him that I wanted to watch. It was too awkward for me to admit that.
So- after all is said and done, I still don't know what to do/what I should have done. I feel like I lost my chance to watch this happen. Should I have assumed that they wanted me to watch if they were doing it right there in front of me? Do you think that a gay man would mind a woman watching him and another guy? What can I do to salvage the situation?