A Hate Story, Within A Love Story

Discussion in 'Love Stories' started by eve.ashley, Oct 29, 2016.

  1. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    I meant when I said how I don't have any special, victim-torturer bond with Abdul.

    I do, however, have a good understanding of how he got the way he is. It could have happened to any of us -- that's the terrifying, mind collapsing bit.

    As much as I don't care for him, himself, he was, he is in love with me, in his own way.

    Things he did to me, things he said, that's the real him. I am the only person in his life he was ever what he really is with.

    I can't say "who", Abdul is not human. Not even by Old Testament measures.

    He was his true self for once in his life and that, in his eyes, made me the single most precious person in his human existence.

    That's why he wanted to write to me, that's why he wanted to "apologize", among other, purely pragmatic and narcissistic reasons. I am the only person that will ever know him. True "human" him.

    I am done wasting my energy and time on hating this creature, he was a victim before he was a predator and it could have happened to any of us.

    I know you get it by now and believe me that the difference between any crack whore and me was my family, my brothers, my comrades. Yes, John I know, the difference between me and anyone else -- ever -- is you, the unbreakable Bond and beautiful Love we share, that defines us. That will always, no matter what, save us, I was getting to that! :)

    What I mean to say is what if the only difference between all of us who aren't like Abdul (or his rapist pack) and them -- is we had someone to help us not to become that. He, they didn't.

    The people who never noticed something was profoundly wrong with him, with them are more to blame for what he has done to me, than he is.

    Not you baby, you were not close to him and you were in love and naturally will have wondered are you being unfair to him since you love me, but also we both hated him and were creeped out, to being with.

    I do want you to try and hate him with all your might for some more time, if you must, and then forever be done with it. What he is now is not worth the energy necessary to hate him and, besides, he couldn't help it.

    His spirit would say, "what we did here is not real", do not do something now we cannot undo (rape me) and his bits, controlled by the programmer, would say, every good story needs a villain and I am so good at it...She owes me...
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2016

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