Am I being too paranoid to avoid this relationship?

Discussion in 'Dating Advice' started by frustrated728, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. frustrated728

    frustrated728 New Member

    Never had a first date like this...

    Met someone online a few weeks ago. We spoke and texted almost every day. Since we live 2 hours apart, we met somewhere in between last weekend. We made a full day of it (from lunch through dinner and going to a winery in between). As soon as I met him, he hugged me and started holding my hand. A short time later, he kissed me on occasion. He kept on saying he was happy to meet me and wanted to see me again soon.
    Then he said some things which I think is strange: He is a dentist and asked me if I whiten my teeth ; when I replied I only used whitening toothpaste he told me that it's bad for you and I should use a different method. He then asked about my birthmark on my arm, which really isn't obvious.
    He kept on saying I was beautiful, etc. and telling me about his prior bad dates and how happy he was to finally meet someone with my wit, looks, etc.
    He was married twice before (not uncommon for a 67 year old); he does have some animosity towards his first wife because of custody issues when the kids were young and has no contact now with the 2nd ex wife.
    He listed his age on the dating site as 62 but he told me he is 66; I am listed at 58 and I'm 60 (I tried to correct mien but it was impossible). He brought it up about my age difference and so did I for him.
    Gardening is his passion so he brought me a bunch of vegetables (that's also a first for me on a first date).
    Otherwise, he appears to be a well established person (has his own home, is close to his adult kids, etc.).
    I've been burnt with 2 prior relationships because of control issues and lying. Also, one of them was a narcissist and came on strong from the beginning. Further, the distance killed my last relationship since he didn't want to move in with me in between for another 3 years (we'd been dating 2 years at that point) and he only saw me on Saturday nights and during the day on Sunday (booty call?). Not a good thing when he is 67 and I'm 60.
    Do I go out of my way to see this guy or not? He doesn't work on Fridays and I can take off some Fridays, so perhaps we can bridge the difference? Is his conduct indicative of a controlling person. We really enjoyed each other's company and I find that very hard to find these days. Also, we are both about 2 years from retirement and then we are free to live elsewhere since both of our adult children are out of the area anyway?
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018

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