Can't stop thinking about an older man

Discussion in 'Marital Problems' started by Kriti, Jan 4, 2017.


Should i contact him and demand closure?

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
  2. No

    3 vote(s)
  1. Kriti

    Kriti New Member

    Let me introduce myself. I'm a 28 year old married woman. Married for 2 years, to a sweet 32 year old man. He travels a lot and is mostly away. I lost both my parents a year ago.
    A few months ago I met a man who came across as extremely interesting and entertaining. I teach piano lessons. He was my student. He is a 45 year old man, recently separated from his wife, and has a 2 year old daughter.
    He kept telling me from the first day I met him that he is a stone. Women keep falling in love with him, but he is not interested in women. I laughed initially. The age gap and the overconfidence were enough reasons for me to think that I would never fall for him.
    But it did happen. I started developing feelings for him. We began hanging out a lot. I enjoyed his company immensely. I feel so comfortable with him that i ended up cuddling and sleeping with him in the same bed a couple of nights. Just talking and cuddling, nothing sexual.
    I do not question his feelings for me. They are irrelevant for me from where I stand. For my part, I know I saw in him a comfortable friend, a good listener and yes, it felt good to be needed and respected. The fact we shared common interests and had recently suffered the loss of dear ones in our lives also sparked a connection. I know this for sure because I have no sexual feelings for him. In fact I've moved away every time he has tried to kiss my lips. Not just because of any moral obligations, but because I really didn't want to be physical with him in that way.
    For some reason he suddenly moved to a different town recently. I tried to stay in touch. But he has been giving me the cold shoulder.
    My problem is this, I can't seem to get him out of my head. I'm scared this is effecting my relationship with my husband. What started as private piano lessons had turned into an emotional affair and now it's eating at my sanity.
    Should I call him up and ask him what's happening. And get a proper closure? I feel that the ambiguity is whats troubling me the most.
    Should I tell my husband about it?
    Please help...
  2. Susane

    Susane New Member

    If I were you husband, I would know. For me it's emotional betrayal. If your husband will try to forgive you, forget about this men and work on your marriage.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2017
  3. LoveAdmin

    LoveAdmin Administrator Staff Member

    No you shouldn't call him up... you should just forget about him. It doesn't really matter why he is giving you the cold shoulder. You are married. Don't kid yourself cuddling and staying over at his house is cheating.

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