Complete each other or perfect mismatch?

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Gregory, Jun 14, 2017.

  1. Gregory

    Gregory New Member

    I am in a new relationship since a few months ago. The way we started was very weird: we just met by chance and felt a connection and then started skyping for a several weeks, as she lives in the US and I live in Germany. She visited me for a few weeks and we got together. However this was long distance and very stressful, while I was very busy at work. We met in the meantime again for several weeks and soon I will move to the US for my job.
    The problem is, that I am now wondering if we are a good match, as the two of us are very different. On the one hand, I feel that we would need more in common, while on the other hand people also talk about "completing" each other...
    To keep it brief here is a short list, however the order is rather random and some points may be exagerating.
    culture: German - US
    believe: (close to) atheist - (very?) religious
    background: middle class - (rather?) rich
    work: academic career/busy - no fixed job/plenty of time
    political view: left liberal - (right?) conservative
    politics/news: interested - not interested
    partnership: stay individual - grow one
    relationships: friends - family
    "admiration need": others - partner
    decisions: rational (overthinking?) - intuitive (naive?)
    temper: rather cold - warm/loving
    adjustment: pessimist - optimist
    sex drive: low - high
    discipline: high -low

    We both don't have a lot of experience in relationships, although we are already in the beginnings of our 30s. (I just had two really short ones (<1y) and a lot of frustrating dating, she had two longer ones that however ended ugly for her.) In her opinion, one can work through all problems if just willing to put in enough effort. But I don't think that is true for everything. I think some things/behaviors are fixed or cannot be changed as much as necessary.
    The hardest part I think is the need for attention and appreciation. I feel that even if I try, I can never give her that loving environment which she is used to from her family, and in turn I do not fully appreciate all the loving things she does. On the contrary I draw strength from admiration of co-workers or discussions with friends about topics that she is not interested in - which makes she feel disregarded or she becomes jealous. It is like we both can give the other something that the other doesn't appreciate, while we need something else that we seek from others.
    I may be overanalyzing it, and I am doubtful in general, but I am really worried that this is not going to work. Many thanks for any advise!
    Mary9260 likes this.
  2. Mary9260

    Mary9260 New Member

    Hi Gregory. U know keeping be with each other or not depends on how much you two love each other i think. Please dont ignor the miracl's of love

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