Down in the dumps

Discussion in 'Break Up Forum' started by John100, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. John100

    John100 New Member

    Hi Everyone I Just subscribed to this website after reading a couple of articles.

    About a month ago my girlfriend (Yes girlfriend) broke up with me. She basically told me that every single thing i do annoys her and that we're not meant to be together, Had nothing in common too different etc... She added that she hasn't loved me for 3 years and was just comfortable. Apparently i didn't treat her like a princess all the time and didn't appreciate her which is absurd.

    I always felt pressured into marrying her from everyone since our second year when we were still studying (She lived with me) but i never told anyone that she cheated on me before (This is the 3rd breakup). I had a lot of trust issues and i was struggling for financial stability for a long time as she has had 7 jobs in the past 5 years this really put a strain on me and i developed a lot of anxiety. She's a pretty girl and receives alot of attention and compliments but still somehow has low self esteem which i bolstered daily. The weeks leading up to the breakup she was doing a 20 day water fast, started exercising a lot more and spent tons of my money on new things we used together and new underwear and clothes as she lost weight fast. We were even speaking to a breeder about a new dog she wanted.

    She always told everyone in my life how well i treat her and how amazing/handsome i am and that she will never be able to live without me. She also told me this on a daily bases and was extremely passionate. This thing just hit me out of the blue. She always comes back in tears telling me I'm the most amazing person and she's made the biggest mistake of her life and i end up taking her back.

    I saw her in a bar with one of my "Friends" being very cosy about 5 days after the breakup and everything made abit more sense but nobody will admit to me that there is something going on. I'm not allowed to contact her or speak to anyone in her life.
    Yesterday she messaged me on my birthday and acted like nothing was wrong saying she's thinking about me and even added her signature kisses. I died a little inside to be honest.

    I'm still very much in love with this girl and i don't know if she will come back but it seems to be a trend. This was my first serious girlfriend ever and I basically spent a third of my life with her. She told me that if i married her she would have stayed with me forever even if she was unhappy.

    I should add that she has ADHD and is very impulsive. Is this just a revenge thing? i don't know what to make of any of this and i just feel lost and depressed. Everyone tells me i deserve better but i'm listening with my heart. She still comes to visit her friend living across me and i can hear them having a good time as if nothing happened. I feel hated, like I'm some kind of monster that physically abused her.

    Thanks for reading.
  2. drsky

    drsky Member

    Oh John,
    I sympathize with you. You definitely deserve someone stable(mentally, emotionally etc). Given her personality, character and your laxity with her attitude(bearing her ways and letting her come back right away without any change) makes this for an ongoing trend.

    There are plenty of good women who can treat you better. Never the less, it is your choice and your life. Since she is gone now, this is a time for your inner reflection, strengthening and perhaps a change towards better road.

    You can approach a counsellor so as to place things in perspective for you and change of attitude for her if she should come back to you again and you happen to take her back. This seems to be going in cycles.
    You would also need her family and 'good' friends support if you have to get through to her, for her to spend time with a counsellor for a behavioral change. You can find out from them as to how she is towards them and others. Know that big changes may or may not usually happen as far as personality and character goes.
    And you should also become introspective and see what you can do to make yourself stronger, better. Change takes time.
    Try kriya yoga and meditation( quite good for inner strength and has other positive effects). Look into google for: art of living course


    And pray to GoD daily(for GOD is love) and help couples and singles seeking love and marriage as much as possible, so that
    positive karma/action will bring love into your life.

    Wish you the best
    DR Sky

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