ex still causing problems

Discussion in 'Break Up Forum' started by grace, Oct 19, 2017.

  1. grace

    grace New Member

    my ex-boyfriend and i broke up (in a very long and messy way) after dating for most of the school year. during the beginning of this school year, my goal was to try and make more friends and i ended up befriending some of his close guy friends. in no way did i do it to get revenge or make him feel bad, but he's ended up taking it in a really bad way even after i repeatedly explained that it had nothing to do with him and i genuinely liked his friends. he's now told two of his friends that they shouldn't be friends with me or even talk to me because it makes him feel shitty. i'm not trying to steal his friends away or become bffs with these guys, but i'd like to be able to see them outside of class.

    let's be clear, he was the one that broke up with me (twice) and although it's been a hard process i've managed to get over him. apparently he hasn't and that's why he's acting like this. i'd also like to mention that he's casual friends with some of my best girl friends and i haven't said shit. since we go to the same small school i have to see him daily, which doesn't make it any easier, but i really loved hanging out with his friends and it sucks to have them treat me as if we're strangers whenever he's around. many of his friends have repeatedly told him he's being unreasonable in trying to control what they do but he won't listen. i want to be able to be friends with these guys, but he's getting in the way.

    he also recently has come over to tables that i'm sitting at and sat down with his friends. not sure if this is a ploy to try and get me to move just so he can feel in control, but it bothers me a lot since i feel like i can't leave or i'll be seen as giving up or backing down. i hate feeling like i'm being pushed around by a guy who hasn't spoken to me for months, whether that's just making me feel uncomfortable/insecure or him dictating who can or can't talk to me. what should i do in these situations? should i give up on being friends with these guys, and just try to avoid him (even if that means leaving the area if he tries to invade my space)?
  2. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    Don't give him any power. Do not let him dictate whom you can and cannot be friendly with. Do not get up and leave if he comes around- he will notice and this gives him the upper hand. You are not doing anything wrong. Keep being friendly and doing what feels right. Remember that you do not need to consider his feelings or opinions any longer. You do you!

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