Falling in love with my best friend.

Discussion in 'Rules for Love Advice Forum' started by Jen777, Dec 1, 2017.

  1. Jen777

    Jen777 New Member

    Hi everyone, hope you are all well. Im new to this site and really hoping some of you can spare 10 minutes of your time to help me out.
    Basically I met a guy about 6 months ago, at the time we began dating I realised I was not ready for a relationship with anyone at that time as my life was far to complex with personal issues. I told him that I wasn' ready and couldn' fully commit he said he understood but still wanted to remain friends. Within the following 6 months we did everything together, saw each other all the time we were a huge part of each other' life. We even had sex from time to time. A few weeks ago he asked me again if I was willing to commit to him in a relationship he loves me so much. to which I replied no we are just friends. Unbeknown to him I actually did have feelings I just wasn' ready at that time to share it was it he hit me out of nowhere with the question. He was upset and that was the end of it 2 days later i confessed to him that I do actually have feeling and I'm sorry I was confused and yes I want to give things ago. He turned round stating that he doesnt believe me I'm only saying this because I'm scared of losing him and basically that I had hurt him so much that I had now missed me chance and it was too late. I was crushed I did not expect this. How can someone go from loving someone so much in a matter of days?? Since then I have continued to want him he has pulled away from me and within a week stated he had met someone else a 21 year old (he' 35) they are officil and he' really happy with her . I' heartbroken and got upset 4 days ago on the phone when he told me this. He became angry stating that he wants to me friends but it's too late and I have to stop all this upset and arguing. I don't know what to do.?? Is it really hopeless have I missed my chance??? I haven't rang him or text him for 4 days as it' been me making all the contact and effort sure he will speak to me but then I get upset on the call and it' like he has to empathy for my feelings what so ever. I. Trying the no contact rule 4 days in but am I waiting my time??? Hes not even saying that he' realised he fell out of love with me months ago just didn' realise it. What is this behaviour? Thanks guys xxx
    david howard likes this.
  2. Jimmy Bean

    Jimmy Bean New Member

    Well, I just joined the forum today, so I apologize about such a late response to your question.
    I hope you read this response in time to save what you might have left.

    In my opinion I've been on the guys end of this several times. If you love him, or have feelings for him... you need to drive to his place, and be with him tonight!
    He asked if you wanted to be together because he was basically looking for an excuse not to date another girl who was giving him attention. You said "we are still friends" which told him your not interested in a long term relationship. But you guys have been doing things, having sex and being together.... he obviously has feeling for you. This 21 year old chick has nothing on you.... he's using her to hurt you back.... because you hurt him by saying you are still only friends.

    So call him up, ask to see him, drive to his place. Kiss him, and tell him you want to be together. If my instincts are right, he will drop the 21 year old girl, and be with you, because thats what he wanted in the first place.
  3. david howard

    david howard New Member

    I am not sure will you listen even if you get the right answer. I understand it's a tough time for sure. But I must say something. I am not even sure if it's infatuation or serious love. Seems like you are not even sure of. Like your question...
    have I missed my chance??
    ... You know what... we people don't admire much until we lose them. We don't value our present anyway. I must say .. you should love only you. Value your life. Let him be free. Let him figure out your value in his life. Just dont make yourself cheap to him. If you are meant to be together.. you will be together.. BTW, you can also check out loveama.com. There are lots of relationship experts who might give you better answer.

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