First sex after pregnancy

Discussion in 'Sex Advice' started by Nali R Ner, May 9, 2013.

  1. Nali R Ner

    Nali R Ner New Member

    Some have sex during pregnancy and some prefer not to. I would like to hear your experience of the first time you had sex after you gave birth to your first child?

    How long after birth did you have full intercourse?

    Were you having sexual play a while before that?

    Did you have any concerns? Did he have any?

    How did you decide you are ready to have sex again? Or did it just happen?

    How was the experience of having sex first time as a mom?

    Please share any details you would like :)
  2. Elschmer

    Elschmer New Member

    For me it was eight months after I had my daughter that I had sex properly for the first time. Sounds like a really long time but I had such a rough time during delivery that both my daughter and I nearly died. I had complications and a very long recovery. My partner was incredibly understanding and would joke that I shouldn't be scared because what was going back in was smaller than what came out. (My daughter was just off 14 pounds.)
    The last few months I was pretty much held back by fear that it would hurt because so much damage had been done. An episiotomy from hell can put a woman off like nothing else. I've worked within family planning and gynaecology so I knew I was being a little irrational. As a result we would fool around and sometimes have foreplay. Usually I would back down when the time came so I would feel bad and finish him off orally or with my hand. When it did happen it wasn't something we planned to do specifically. I just let foreplay progress to intercourse.
    I was worried about pain more than anything and he was concerned about hurting me. To help limit this issue we used plenty of lubricant. I can't stress the importance of this for any couple following the birth of a child. Even if you don't think you need it, for her sake use some at least the first time. It can dramatically decrease the pain felt from things like an episiotomy and can enhance pleasure for both.
    The desire to have sex again was there as a first time mother however I felt I needed to live up to what it was like before the birth and this caused anxiety for me. Thankfully my partner never pressured me and made me feel like it was okay eventually.
    I found sex while pregnant incredible. Between the increased blood flow and higher libido I wanted to do it all the time. It was far more sensual for us both and the pregnancy brought a bond and intimacy to it that was hard for me personally to achieve after the birth. I know my partner was really turned on by me being pregnant. Once the early morning sickness subsided everything seemed to revolve around sex. For the first time in my life I would orgasm vaginally and even while asleep. It got to the point in the last trimester that it would happen almost every morning at 6.30am. It eventually decreased in frequency after delivery until stopping several months later once my body had returned to pre pregnancy state.
    The first time afterwards we ensured we took our time and he penetrated me gently. Even with lots of lubricant the scar tissue was a bit uncomfortable but not unbearably painful. We stuck to missionary to limit how deep he was and it was the only position we had sex in for a few weeks.
    If you are planning on having kids my advice to you is the above. Plenty of lube and be gentle. Once I had gotten over the fear of being hurt we slowly returned to pre pregnancy sex.

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