Guys fall for me-- How to maintain platonic relationships?

Discussion in 'Relationship Questions' started by Metabeta, Oct 9, 2017.

  1. Metabeta

    Metabeta New Member

    I've been in many situations where several guys falling for me, even though I had a boyfriend at that time. And now that said, no I'm not a drop-dead gorgeous with a killer body-- I am a plain girl-next-door type of average gal. But it's been so bad that even a married man once tried to do something with me. Granted, he probably wasn't happily married, but that definitely was a turning point. From then on I stopped hanging out with guys as much as possible.

    The problem is, now that several of my friends are married, I am bound to hang out with them and their husbands. I know I sound extremely conceited but I am terrified that the same thing would happen again with their husbands. I am scared to death to have a conversation with their husbands, I am horrified that my friends might think that I'm flirting with their husbands, and I feel suffocated everytime I have to interact with their husbands because I am scared that they might fall for me if I become comfortable around them (I know I sound revolting. Trust me I am typing as I cringe from self-disgust). I don't want to be a bad friend, and I really really want to have a good, normal relationship with my friends and their husbands.

    Is there a secret of maintaining platonic relationships with your opposite gender?
  2. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    I'm not quite sure how to take you, or if you mean to come across the way you have. I don't think it's reasonable to be terrified that your friend's husbands will be unable to help themselves from falling for you. It's insulting to your friends to think that way, don't you think? If their husbands love them, they're not going to fall for you no matter what you do. There are tons of men out there that are only looking for sex, and couldn't care less if a girl has a boyfriend or even if they themselves are coupled up. It by no means implies that you are ridiculously attractive to every male and they won't be able to control themselves around you. Just because a married man tried to hook up with you once (and ask around- most women you talk to will have similar experiences) doesn't mean they all share the same mind set.

    If you are asking this from the perspective of simply not wanting to offend your girlfriends by thinking you are flirting with their men, then... don't be flirtatious with their men? Treat them the same way as you would your brothers or cousins or mailman. Be polite, be friendly, be respectful. Keep the conversation off sex and anything sexual. If you're concerned, pay more attention to their partners than them. Or do Girls Only stuff with them. It'll be fine. Maybe if you got to know their husbands as regular people you'd realize that they probably aren't as threatening to your sensibilities as you may think

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