His mom suddenly stopped liking me...

Discussion in 'Family Issues' started by Barbie, Feb 20, 2016.

  1. Barbie

    Barbie New Member

    Hello there, 19 year old female here.
    I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and a half and let me start by making 2 points. 1) I have had both short (6month) and long (up to 2 year) relationships in the past and in all of my exes their parents liked me. Even my ex girlfriend who had strict catholic parents who hated the "gay lifestyle" liked me as a person. I just try to be nice and respectful in general especially to people older than me. 2) up until recently, my boyfriends mom liked me. We would talk often and have coffee together and we never had any issues.
    There were a couple of hiccups which I apoligised for, one involved her finding my underwear in his bedroom after I accidentally left them there because I was unpacking my things from being abroad with him. (oops, a bit embarrassing but she wasn't happy about it at all). Another which I was unaware of the issue even being an issue. Basically every time I'm at my boyfriends house he goes for a shower, and sometimes he invites me in with him. I didn't know it was an issue and when I found out I stopped. Both of these incidents my boyfriend told me it was an issue, not his mum herself. But she has always been fine with me regardless.
    I would say for about 2 weeks everything has been weird, she is cold with me, she won't talk to me and she blames me when her son messes up (for example when we go out and he doesn't tell her he's coming home late). Recently she had a go at me because my boyfriend told her about an argument we had but twisted it in such a way that made it look as if I was out of order, by telling her that the cause of the argument was that I didn't like his family (not true at all, the cause of the argument was that he was late by 3 hours to see me). She has just been really cold and not interested in talking to me like she used to, now when she wants to talk to him she shuts the door so I can't be in the same room, that kind of small but significant kind of thing.
    Basically my question is: should I really be bothered? I know I'm the type of person that strives to be liked by everybody, and maybe I'm just not her cup of tea? I'm always going to be polite to her regardless of if she likes me or not, but should I really be so upset that she doesn't? Also, from what I've said do you think that she's gone off me at all or am I just being silly?
    Thankyou for any replies
    -Barbie.
     
  2. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild New Member

    In my opinion, I think your boyfriend has told her something about your behavior which she does not approve of or maybe something from your past. If she doesn't approve of you, I suggest you avoid her since your boyfriend still lives under her roof. He needs to grow up and keep your relationship private from his mom who seems to want the best for her son.

    Quit trying too hard; people will like you naturally for who you are and not what they hear about you.
     
  3. Lushlala

    Lushlala New Member

    I think darkrebelchild said it all....your boyfriend really needs to grow up, and stop hiding behind you! Something tells me he's said something to give the mum the impression that his behaviour is something to do with you. It's also possible that she's arrived at that conclusion herself because she's wearing blinkers and thinks her son is this perfect angel. Whichever way you look at it, he needs to be in your corner more and give you some firm assurances. I would also urge you to avoid going round to the house. Never apologise for who you are, those who care for you will do so regardless. Those who don't, well....they don't matter.
     
  4. Theo

    Theo New Member

    First of all you are very young still and you will find not everyone will like you and for no particular reason. That's just life. On the shower incident I can see why she would be a little miffed as it's disrepectful as it is her home. Maybe if she wasn't in, but most parents wouldn't like it but won't say. Remember you are still a guest in her home, and that you should behave accordingly.
     

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