How often should you forgive your friends?

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by Edwardharper, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Edwardharper

    Edwardharper New Member

    Some of my friends have been letting me down a great deal recently and I was just wondering how many chances should you give them. And how would you end a friendship?
     
  2. LoveAdmin

    LoveAdmin Administrator Staff Member

    I think this is really up to what you are willing to put up with. If they are hurting you, they don't sound like good friends. You don't necessarily have to outright end the friendship. You could just become busy with other things and gradually distance yourself from them
     
  3. taskeinc

    taskeinc New Member

    Depends on what you mean by letting you down? How are your friends letting you down? Are you asking for favors? Are your friends not coming around like they used to? It just depends. I will say this, good friends are hard to come by and you really only have a handful of people that you can call, close friends. So unless they are betraying you, or cheating, or being abusive in some other way, you might just need to sit down and have a heart to heart, face to face, one on one conversation with each friend. Because if it's a few friends that you feel are letting you down, it might require some soul-searching and self-analysis on your part, to find out why this is happening since you are the common denominator.
     
  4. mommyjoyce

    mommyjoyce New Member

    Deleting a friend in my life depends on the gravity of an offense. I have turned my back on my once-best-friend in college when, after all we've been through, mostly after all I've done to assist her and her kids, she betrayed me over money matters. She told a lot of foul stories about my kids not being decent children (like sneezing into shirts, feeding our cats using our plates, etc) just so she could get the friendship of a foreign couple witjh whom she thought she would be able to sell a property.

    She lost the sale...and she lost our friendship. Despite her apologies, some things just cannot be recovered.

    With other friends, no worries really. So far, I haven't had an enemy friend. I just let little things vaporize; no big deal. Nobody's perfect. It's ok to be forgiving for little things. All has been well, except with that one ex-friend alone.
     
  5. eve

    eve New Member

    i guess as much as you can....dunno...i never really had any friends....if you're talking family, as much as you can...other people....they always hava an agenda...at least that's what's my life has been like...
     
  6. ACSAPA

    ACSAPA New Member

    As other posters have said ,it depends on what they have done. If it's something small, like you don't see them much or they don't call much, they might just be busy with their lives and you can stay friends with them and just stay busy with other things. If they have betrayed you in some heinous way, like sleeping with your girlfriend or stealing from you, there's an expression I read online somewhere "Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them another bullet to shoot you with, in case they missed you the first time."
     
  7. Charity

    Charity New Member

    If they are screwing you over to the point you are questioning the friendship, then I would say only once. A true friend is not going to let you down over and over. You should just distance yourself from that "friend", find other friends that are going to be there for you and not let you down.
     
  8. amy005

    amy005 New Member

    I think it depends on what the friend did to let you down. But I really believe in only forgiving someone once in general. It is not right to let someone just walk all over you or not be there for you if they are supposed to be your friend. You should only let people that are really genuine people be in your life.
     
  9. AnnaU93

    AnnaU93 New Member

    I feel that if this is something that constantly happens then you should know deep down that they are not your "friends". They are just people who come and go in your life and teach you lessons about what you truly deserve in this life. I would end that friendship directly but not too obviously such as stopping to talk to them on a daily basis as I would have before. I wish you luck in this situation!
     
  10. Rachel5

    Rachel5 New Member

    I have stop talking to a few friends in the past because of issues we have had. Its not good to keep people like that in your life. Just tell them you don't see eye to eye anymore and not to get in touch with you anymore. Or tell them exactly what the issue is and why you don't want to be their friend anymore. Either way is fine, I've done both. Sorry to hear your friends are no good.
     
  11. pandandesign

    pandandesign New Member

    It depends on what my friends have done to me. Most of my friends and I don't talk much like we used to be. We have our own families and hardly get together nowadays. If it's a small thing, I will let it slide. If it is a major problem, I don't talk to them anymore. I don't even give a second chance.
     
  12. Trellum

    Trellum New Member

    It really depends how your friends let you down and how often. It's also important to know if they seem to regret it or not... if they don't seem to regret it and just keep doing it, then I guess that means that's time for me to say goodbye. If you talk to them about it, and still nothing... then it's obvious they will not change!
     
  13. mocha__

    mocha__ New Member

    I think friends should get endless chances. I think you should not talk to them for 2 or 3 days and see if they come running back to you. If not.. you might need to find new friends, bud. ):
     
  14. relationshippro

    relationshippro New Member

    70x7, pray for your friend & maybe you need to give your friend some space,, have you confronted he/she? if not maybe you need to, tell he/she how it makes you feel when being lied to, ask questions, has your friend always been this way? if not, sit down and talk with your friend, let your friend know that you love he/she & that you are there for them, I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's always a reason, you sound like a very special,loving & caring friend I believe anyone would be blessed to have you as a friend, so I hope things will work out for the both of you, stay strong & stay prayed up & the Lord will order your steps & will not let you be blind sided, I wish you & your friend all the best!
     
  15. kammy

    kammy New Member

    I think it depends on the offense ; if it's something trivial I usually laugh it off. If it's something that's robbing you of your sleep then I think it's time to take action. If your friend value the relationship just as much as you do then there's a possibility things can be worked out. It's all down to how much that friendship means to you; nevertheless some friendships are just not worth fighting for.
     
  16. sadum

    sadum New Member

    Sometimes onces is enough to know a person is no good to you. It is okay to forgive friends but make sure you never give them an opportunity to let you down again, in short limit the friendship, give it boarder line where they are no longer suppose to cross or else they will let you down knowing they will ask for forgiveness and at as if nothing happened, until this becomes a habit.
     
  17. NDN

    NDN Member

    As often as they are sincerely remorseful. Don't give in to half heart or fake apologies. If someone is true sorry and they mean it , forgive them.
     
  18. Jaylagt

    Jaylagt New Member

    I feel like if you even have to question this it's time to end it. Friends are supposed to enhance your life by being there for you and if they can't do that the you don't need them. If it's only you putting in the effort then I would find new friends or stick with the good ones you've already got. You don't even have to say anything to them. Just stop talking and if they notice I think it's worth talking about. If not, they were never really your friends. Best of luck. :)
     
  19. sol_ceballos

    sol_ceballos New Member

    maybe it doesn't end..just what you call lie low..you had good times together. if they are not that dense, then they would know there's something wrong in there and would make amends with you..:)
     
  20. sweetjelatin

    sweetjelatin New Member

    I believe that every friendship goes thru hardships. You shouldn't count the times when you should forgive. Because we all are only human and prone to mistakes. What if the tables are turned? Should your friends in turn count the times they should forgive you? Instead work with your problems and go around it. This will even strengthen your bond.
     

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