I love her so much, but I'm not physically attracted to her anymore

Discussion in 'Break Up Forum' started by Kswiss, May 2, 2017.

  1. Kswiss

    Kswiss New Member

    I've been dating my one and only girlfriend for 2 years now. I'm 20 and she's 19. I love everything about her, except that I'm not sexually attracted to her anymore and I've found myself passing up the chance to have sex with her when before I wouldn't. We have the same taste in music, same sense of humor, same hobbies , etc, She is completely in love with me and I know it would destroy her if I broke up with her. I'm not attracted to her but I don't want to rip her heart out. I still love her, but I'm not attracted to her. What should I do??
  2. Kswiss

    Kswiss New Member

    Can anyone help me?
  3. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    Is this something that has happened recently or is this something that's been coming on for a while? The first part of a relationship is usually fireworks and lots of chemistry. After that has passed, love will usually develop into a more compassionate, less explosive type of love. That's normal. However, there's a difference between having a relationship cool off naturally and not being attracted to that person at all anymore. It's up to you to decipher which applies to you.

    Is this just a new phase of a great relationship? Or has this run it's course?
  4. Kswiss

    Kswiss New Member

    It's been coming on for a little while now. Little things that didn't bother me before are now. There's a bunch of things about her that I got over in the length of our relationship but they're starting to resurface. She has no idea I feel this way and I feel like a total jerk. So it's not just my attraction to her, it's other little things like never being able to make a decision for herself. That's bothered me since day 1
  5. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    Sorry for the late reply. You're not a jerk for falling out of love. If that were the case, I think pretty much everyone would be a jerk, myself included. That's life for ya. People fall in and out of love all the time, especially when you're young. It doesn't make you a bad person. It does sound like there's other things that are bothering you about her. I know it would be a turn off for me if a guy couldn't make his own decisions either.

    It's up to you to decide what to do next. If you're still wanting to pursue the relationship, talk to her and explain to her exactly what is happening that is turning you off of her. If you feel like it's past that point (and you have that right, it doesn't make you a bad person) then it's most fair to break it off with her rather than drag it out. Good luck!
  6. Drunk Advice

    Drunk Advice New Member


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  7. Kswiss

    Kswiss New Member

    I'm so torn on what I should do. If I break up with her, it will destroy her. Her 2 past boyfriends were both horrible to her and she tell me every day how lucky she is to be with me and how much she loves me
  8. drsky

    drsky Member

    Hello Kswiss,

    If there are bunch of things that are bothering you abt her, see if both of you can work out these things together, may be not all at one time, but try to talk to her and tell her in a nice way that there are certain issues that concern you, and if she would be able to change those.

    More things we find at fault when the relationship is waning, the worse it becomes, so try to work them out.

    if you are not sexually attracted to her, what is it related to , the way she dresses or acts or her physical self?

    And relationships wax and wane for most people, it is not the same all the time.
    If you are having serious issues, to the point of break-up, advise to go for relationship counselling or couples refresher courses or reunions, so that you may kindle the spark again.

    And if you really want to be with her, there are more things you like abt her than not, then find a way to work this, give it some try.


    And pray to GOD, For GOD is LOVE and LOVE is GOD, and He can bring in love to you again in your relationship.

    And help singles and couples seeking love as much as possible, so that positive karma/action will bring love to you.

    Wish you the best,

  9. Sarah Jones

    Sarah Jones New Member

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  10. Cellardoor

    Cellardoor New Member

    Hey Kswiss, it seems you are figuring out who you are. Life is so ever changing and so are you. I recently broke up with my bf because I didnt love him...I really tried too since he was a great guy. But you have to one day stop making everyone else happy and mske yourself happy first. It would be selfish to only be giving your gf part of you am I right? It was a really heartbreaking decision for me to end things but I am happier.
    You are so young, live life, enjoy experiences.

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