i need advice ,help with older classy ladie….

Discussion in 'Dating Advice' started by bladest, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. bladest

    bladest New Member

    Hi people happy holidays i live in europe and i need some help,advices. I really like one classy ladie she is older than me she have great job, new suv etc…. this doesnt matter,she is very beautiful she reads a lot of books etcs very smart intelligent sexy, so the problem is she is very busy i try to date her since last year so far 0000 dates with her,we will go out this year for sure and it will be soon, but may be i will have chance for only 1 date i dont know, i must make her extremely good impression so she can give me any chance, i asked her what does she likes/wants from mans, she told me she wanted her hearth to wince, we will visit probably at some mall since she works there,i know that giving her flowers it will be stupid idea…. so please advice, what to do.I WANT TO win her… at all cost. she is between 30-40 years old i am under 30
     
  2. TheUtterFool

    TheUtterFool Member

    Hey,

    Try not to go too over the top. When guys are head-over-heels for a woman there's a tendency to assume that the first date must be this massive gesture that somehow proves your worth as a man and a lover. No. Just go for dinner or coffee or something, get to know one another. Obviously I'm not a woman so can't say from that point of view, but when I see friends of mine going ridiculously over the top it just comes off as desperate. Calm it down, have fun and see if you gel. If you're not right for each other, no amount of cash thrown at a date is gonna outshine that fact. Some of the best dates I've ever had were just grabbing a coffee and going for a walk on the beach. And hey, some flowers can be a nice touch, depends on the woman you're with I suppose.

    Best of luck mate,
    Jake.
     
  3. bladest

    bladest New Member

    I plan to give her via courrier,
    paper flowers + expensive chocolate bonbons, do u think its a good idea with nice card?
    i write her everyday messages,do u think this is too much ?
     
  4. You sound like you have a huge heart and are very romantic. However, if it's too much too soon, you may scare her off. Especially if you are already writing her "everyday messages." Get to know her on a personal level first, take her for a nice dinner, and see if there is a connection beyond the physical. If you establish your connection, then shower her with the affection and wonderful ideas you have in mind. Too many extravagant gifts too early may put too much pressure on her. You sound like you have a lovely heart, make sure she is worthy of it before you hand it over :)
     
  5. bladest

    bladest New Member

    according to people in my countrie its not a good idea to give her flowers even from paper and chocolate...
    i dont know what to do.. in my life i have given lots of flowers and effect was 0000
    no success,
    so i am confused...
    may be this one is different?
     
  6. TheUtterFool

    TheUtterFool Member

    Just relax man.

    I know it's difficult to do so when you're excited and passionate about a new love interest, but just relax and be yourself. Maybe wait until you've been on a couple of dates to be sending flower and chocolates etc to her work/wherever. Take her to dinner, have fun, be yourself, see if you click. If you do, great! Go out again and just see where things take you.

    "I've given lots of flower and effect was 0" Sounds like you went too extravagant then! Whilst it's not for everyone, most of us like a little romance. Too much and it just gets... Overwhelming. (Most of us guys have made that mistake at one time or another!)

    Just relax and take it easy:)

    Good luck!
    Jake.
     
  7. bladest

    bladest New Member

    i still plan to give her nice paper flowers + nice white chocolate bonbons...
     
  8. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    Bladest be as intense as you have to be, of course it's best if you don't ask her to bare you a child or marry you on the first date, but how much of a grand gesture or intensity will your interaction with her involve is solely up to what you feel you have to do and say.

    If this woman will like you she needs to like you as yourself, sure yes stay clear of really scary stuff that sounds a bit "fatal attraction-y" like let's make a child, get married or I want to skin your face, make a mask and wear it I find it romantic, but if this woman will reject you it will be coz she does not like you, for you, or it's not the right time for her to date and believe me that's much more OK than if she rejects you for the act you've put on thinking if only you were (like the real you) she's consider you.

    What I'm trying to say is, rejection is part of life and yes it hurts and yes it's scary but the only way, literally the only way to find a good match is to be yourself with someone, the more of an act you put on the more you will postpone rejection but it will still happen.

    There would be less divorces if people did not hid from each other so much. People don't grow apart it's just hard to put on some act for 3 years and then you struggle for another two coz that's not the person you dated for a year and married.

    People can grow apart if they marry in early 20s but these days you have people in late 30 marrying only to divorce a decade later...

    I know it sounds corny but it's the only way to find happiness in life, just be yourself with her. Better she says no now, then you go through 6 months of pacing your passionate nature, then showing it to her only for her to say, wow, I don't like such intense relationships, this is too intense for me, I need things a bit more casual...

    Again, nobody is saying make her open up to you as fast as you are opening up to her, in fact this is very important, this scares people away, do not insist that she fallows your pace of opening up. You do you, and let her open up at her own pace, just let her enjoy how much you care, and are into her and you passion and gestures and try to know her a bit, meaning if she think flowers are a waste of money but she likes to eat, cook for her...Get her some rare sweets, buy her a plant.

    I don't think people are afraid of being loved and desired, we are afraid that once that person really gets to knows us, we will not be good enough, pretty enough, desirable enough...

    So as long as you shower her with your way, and let her open up at her own pace I think you'll be a rarely desirable bloke...

    She will start opening up bit by bit, and if she doesn't want a guy like you, why waste time pretending you're a less passionate less romantic guy, in three months you will have more feelings and more memories of her and she's realise just how passionate and intense you are and leave then, if that's not what she wants in a man...

    Good luck hon.

    Also, check if she has allegories, intolerances or diets she fallows. Don't take a vegan to stake house or offer anything with gluten to a Paleo girl and especially if she's a coeliac, diabetic and such.

    I wish you much success with your girl.
     
    LoveAdmin likes this.
  9. bladest

    bladest New Member

    i am vegan she is not,
    she dont have lots of interest for me but i will still try my luck,
    do u think if she write me on messages
    kisses
    and hugs are these fakes accoring to girls here these are fakes?
     

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