You didn't make me have a twin, you didn't make this hell for me, you didn't zombify my twin, you aren't him and you never abused me. You were a man for a month, and this place insists still that young men of that age are children. Erratic unstable children. Instead of celebrating our adolescent years, and make them so much easier, we put them down, and try our best to ruin people forever. Well, this place does, I don't, I'm not from here, welll I am but not from this time. You were a man for a month at a time it was going to be put down, dismissed, you were going to be called and taken for a silly child, a boy that has "fallen into a nasty cougar's hands"... I was going to become the personification of all of the issues people around us had with women, all of their shortcomings would have starting to appear for them when the look at me, that's what everyone saw in my, themselves. That's why you saw an amazing perosn worth of everything best she can get, and most people saw a person that deserves to be tortured to death... I need you not to blame yourself for things other people have done to me, and I don't blame you. Every time I said we did not have history together that you are just a stranger, I meant it only as a means of giving you a way out from me, away from me. You were a stranger John, a stranger I asked to love me so I wouldn't die. A stranger that doesn't even need a mate... I needed you to way all your options, to know what you are getting yourself into and that was impossible to make sure, since I had no idea what was going on anymore... You have done extremely well, and even if you haven't, if you made terrible mistakes, you've done your best. You made no unforgivable mistakes, though, and you've spend last 5 years trying to make up for the ones you made, and I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to meet you again. :heartpump: If you still love me and want me, all you have to do is show up. I have so much I want to make up to you too... I love you John, I would never ask for a better mate, you are miraculous and I mean that. When are you coming to take me home? (To Victoria Inn=)? P.S. You were a stranger I stalked asking him for the biggest favour anyone has ever asked of anyone, then you were a stranger I was in love with in the worst possible situation I could have ever imagined for myself or the man I loved, and not you aren't a stranger anymore. You're the man who fought for me for years, for us, who fought for us, for our right to have a proper chance at love. At us. Without my humanoid cancer killing me, without me being abused and tortured in the process, without you being made to watch it till you lose your mind, without everyone around us and their dog projecting their own worst traits and fears onto me... You're not a stranger anymore, you're the only person I trust right now, I trust you more than my own judgment, more than that I love you. I admire you and I love you. Now we have our own history, we should just start making happy memories again too, and be together, I never want to spend another night sleeping away from you, ever. I love you, John, thank you for not giving up on me, on us.