I'm leaving the forum

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by eve.ashley, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    I've tried to do something truly loving and cool for a 27 year old virgin who cannot get a second date. I offered him to visit me and we can have se'x with me for about a week, as a means to give him confidence to do better with women. He declined, which is OK the guy would not be 27 year old virgin if he went out of his comfort zone at all, but the way he did what rude and uncalled for.

    I am reasonably good looking and have a very high IQ, well read and traveled. He will never, in his developmentally behind life, date or get to make love with a woman like me. He told me he won't report me giving me a benefit of a doubt, as if offering sex to a grown ar'se man was illegal, or broke forum rules.

    Again, it's not that he declined the sexiest, coolest, most loving woman he will ever get a chance with, it's the way he did it.

    So this got me thinking, why am I here trying to help people sort out their problems. Most people do not care about other people's problems or to help anyone if there's nothing in it for them. Why am I the fool that knows how usually no good deed goes unpunished but still trying to help???

    So as of right now I am leaving the forum and people can sort their own crap out without me.

    There is something seriously wrong with me when I am constantly trying to help people who are over and over again, rude, ungrateful and selfish buggers in general.

    Best of luck to some of the cool people I've met on the forum, I am off to find a hobby that I will gain something from other than feeling like a bloody idiot.

    I've never gotten even as much as thank you from loveadmin for keeping this forum alive...

    I am just done...

    My pearls before swines never again.
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2016
  2. Fisyr

    Fisyr New Member

    I definitely don't want to start any flame war, but since I'm this 27 year old virgin in question, I just feel I'd like to justify a bit my action.
    I'm sorry if I screwed something here making leave an old time member, but I do believe I acted the right way.

    How else can you react to a proposal from a completely unknown person, who asks you to come to a country you've never been in before to have sex.... If nothing else that honestly to me sounds like praying on vulnerable people and unfortunately scams like that do happen all over the internet.
    While this behavior looked pretty suspicious to me I had no concrete proof, so I just told her that I let her a benefit of the doubt and not report her. As she said herself: asking people for sex is not illegal any way. However asking anonymous people who clearly are vulnerable for sex pretty much out of the blue on a forum is very suspicious to say the least, but still this is no proof of anything, so I felt I should tell her she deserves benefit of the doubt and I told her I would not report her.

    To Eve.Ashley I can only say this: if all you really wanted was to help me out, then please accept my sincerest apologies. Believe me: the last thing I want is to hurt anyone's feelings and be considered rude. However as much as I am sorry, it does not change a fact that I can't trust a complete stranger on the Internet who asks me to leave to another country: that is a way too risky thing to do.
  3. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    Fisyr, you are a very annoying man and I could say a lot of unflattering, true things to you, but I'm not going to. I'd like to think that I am still better than kicking people when they are down and, to your own admission, you are a vulnerable troubled man.

    Since this is and advice and help forum I will tell you this much. You are not a 13 year old, so when a grown woman offers you a holiday in her country and se'x, or help with your virginity problems and your insecurity problem, it will suffice to say, no thank you that is not something I see myself doing.

    You need to learn the difference between someone trying to blackmail you, coerce you into something, and someone making you an offer.

    Report me to whom for what, dear man, you were offered a very nice, affordable holiday in a beautiful country with an amazing woman and help with your sexual and social problems. If that is not what you wanted, you were free to decline the offer, I completely would have understood. However, to be rude about it and call me a cheat and a predator is very immature and rude.

    BTW, I never offered you to have se'x with a stranger, had you been interested we'd exchange fb, Skype, phone numbers and see if there was any chemistry there and then perhaps meet, probably not as you would not be able to hold it together for long enough to convince me it was a good idea to try and spend 7 days of my life with you, or sleep with you.

    So all you understood you were offered is in your very immature mind. My offer was something very cool, once in a life time experience that could have changed your life forever, at least you would not be a 27 year old man whose never been kissed, you'd have had se'x, and have 7 great dates behind you.

    However if you continue to act as a 13 year old boy, and a rude one, at 27 that will not improve your chances of a second date. I am saying this lovingly. I understand my offer was unorthodox and something you are not used to, but to decline is perfectly sufficient you do not need to insult the other person. Again, report me to whom for what? To Islamic police for offering you sex out of wedlock. What I said to you is illegal and broke rules only in shariah countries. I was not rude, I did not stalk you, pester you or insult you.

    Further more, you were not happy with calling me a predator and giving me condescending mercy by not reporting me you also called me a cheat. You don't know anything about me, if you did you'd know I haven't seen my bf in 5 years. So, ipso facto, I do not have a bf, I have a stranger that I haven't seen in 5 years, psychologically stringing me along in a very unfair way, and I was going to use our holiday to have some se'x, god knows I need it, at this point, make a clean psychological break with my imaginary bf and set you free from your virgin jail...

    With this post I am done addressing what happened between us and ever talking to you. I am not leaving the forum becasue of you, don't flatter yourself that much my good man, I am simply tired of dealing with other people's problem.

    I just wanted to make a public explanation of what happened between us as your judgment cannot be trusted at all to give a fair report of my offer and I will not leave this forum, where I've spend so many days helping people with nothing in it for me, being accused of predatory behaviour by an immature man with an overactive imagination.

    All done. I wish you a happy life, success in your therapy and as many second, third, hundredth dates as possible.
  4. Fisyr

    Fisyr New Member

    Thank you for replying. I do appreciate your honesty. I do indeed tend to be overly suspicious of people I don't know. Hell: I used to even carry books I took to read in laundry right next to the washing machine for fear of them being stolen while I took the clean clothes out, so you can imagine that jumping to the conclusion of you being a predator was not that much of a stretch for me. Now that I got to understand better the situation, I am sorry we have to part on such negative terms and I quite regret for saying what I said to you. In fact I do agree it was definitely unnecessarily rude and I should have just politely refused.
    Since I try my best to be on good terms with people I'm sorry you find me annoying.

    On the note of you leaving the forum: I understand I was just the last straw, but either way it's always admirable to see people helping others: especially if they have lots of problems of their own and from what I saw, you posted quite a lot on this forum, so kudos to you for staying that long. Since you haven't received any thanks from any members here yet, at least let me thank you for the suggestions you made to me.

    I hope this message will still reach you and I do too wish you a happy life and I hope you'll be able to get out of your tough situation.
    eve.ashley likes this.
  5. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about it, it was a misunderstanding. I suppose you are not nearly as annoying as half the people I know. It's OK to be guarded and not make any bold moves, but please understand that the only way to know if you can trust someone is to try and trust them. You are not as fragile as you think you are.

    You don't have to fly to Bosnia or do anything adventurous like that, but you need to allow yourself to be a bit less guarded, it's being counter productive. Instead of protecting you it's isolating you now.

    You will survive heartbreak or pain and even a predator. I just wanted to do something nice for both of us as nothing nice happened to me in a long time and I can see you are standing in your own way...Not everyone is out to get you, many people are but there are still some of us trying to be nice. You're not the reason I am leaving the forum, I'm dyslexic and it's hard for me to communicate this way. I like easing people's pain, it makes me feel good and useful. I understand that most people do not offer se'x to a stranger on the forum if they do not have a hidden agenda, so other than not having a filter maybe and being a bit more polite about it, you were not too wrong to assume something could be shady there, but I'm not like most people the joy of doing for you what you cannot seem to do for yourself, at the moment, would be enough for me. Also, my crappy life situation makes it impossible for me to date and I'm lonely, it seemed nice to have 7 days with a man who is too far away to want to date and such. If I sleep with a man here he will want to date and I'm not up to that right now...

    So you see, I like most people have stuff in it for me, I just wasn't trying to use you, I promise. I don't use people. Just understand that you are stronger than you think and more resilient and don't be afraid of people, or life...You have loads of stuff going for you. I'm sorry I called you annoying. Good luck in Canada.
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2016
  6. LoveAdmin

    LoveAdmin Administrator Staff Member

    I would hate to see you go. You are appreciated here and you have helped lots of people (even if you have never offered me sex)

    Although I'm sure you run into rude people and people that you just don't like, I do know that for many, you have definitely helped. And I definitely appreciate how you have helped out this forum!
    eve.ashley and TheUtterFool like this.
  7. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    Thank you for saying that. I don't think you need my se'x as you are happily married, but if I ever do offer you some se'x, please don't be rude about it, whether you accept or not. We've worked it out, the man in question and I. I think he was just shocked, it's a pretty unusual offer. Also, people do use se'x to control others or such, or to deceive and prey and such...I can see how my genuine and loving offer with no secret agenda could have been misunderstood. Thank you for acknowledging my efforts, I do love this forum, I've spend many years here and I value it, and the people on it, dearly.
    LoveAdmin likes this.

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