Is she interested in me or just testing me or fear relationships ?

Discussion in 'Dating Advice' started by Sandeep Reddy, Nov 7, 2017.

  1. Sandeep Reddy

    Sandeep Reddy New Member

    I am from India.
    I have been talking to a girl almost 6 months. From First day i talked , i felt the connection. From that day on-wards i have been in constant touch with her, Talking on phone, on company chat and sincerely been trying for her. Met 4 months back for the first time in person too and couple of time recently. Went for lunch once together.

    She was in a relationship which went till engagement but didn’t work out. She shared the incident with me after lunch , when we met for the second time. She Hugged me for the first time that day.

    i have told her how special she is once and she felt happy too. I asked her how she felt about me. She told she has met a good friend. I questioned is it only friendship? She replied “she is not open for relationship and she is better only alone with friends around.She does all the things to me what she does to other friends too.”

    After that everything was going as usual too, I complement her a lot now too and she wants to hear more of it from me. As we work nearby i try to make time to meet her while she is on her way back to home on bus (me riding on my bike) to at-least say hi and bye. She doesn’t react negatively or does not say to stop follow her. Sometimes she herself informs me if she is going in some other bus. Does any girl allow such things if she don’t like the person? A normal friend won’t go after a bus as far as i know.

    When i first met her in person 4 months back, I offered red roses to her… She didn’t reject them nor reacted as if she didn’t like it.. She just said she can’t take them home. Doesn’t a girl know what red roses are meant for?

    I am little confused. If she is interested in me or not? or if she wants to be in a relationship but afraid of facing the same thing which happened in earlier relationship? Or does she wants me to chase after her more to show that i am serious about her? Is she testing me? or is she self confused ?

    Enlighten me friends. Its hard to understand a girl's behavior.

    This is not for a short term or NSA relationship(if someone thinks this is all for physical intimacy). I am seeing this as long term with future.
  2. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    I feel like she either A) isn't ready for another relationship and doesn't want you to get the wrong idea or B) she has politely friend zoned you but still likes you as a friend.

    In either case, I don't think this is the right time for a relationship with her. It doesn't sound like she is all that interested in being with anyone at the moment for whatever reason
  3. Sandeep Reddy

    Sandeep Reddy New Member

    If that's the case she should have said something when i offered her red roses. It's not like guys goes on giving red roses to all friends (girl) ??
    She is ok to come out with me like dinner, usually people will avoid once they come to know about someone has feelings for them if they don't like it. One of my friend did the same to one of the guy who was getting closer to her.
    We usually don't like people to follow us if we don't like them (let it be anywhere on road / behind bus/ near our location ). But if i am unable to meet her at work place, Sometimes i try to meet her while she is in travel just to wave to her. And she doesn't show objection/ say anything.

    Btw i didn't propose her formally yet.

    Sometimes feels she is giving some signals and next few days as if nothing is there. which is making it more confusing as i said earlier.
  4. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    [QUOTEIf that's the case she should have said something when i offered her red roses.[/QUOTE]

    Well....she did say something. She told you she couldn't take them home. While that's not a flat out rejection of them, it is her not allowing your gift (which yes, we all know what red roses symbolize) into her home. It is symbolic that she did not accept that token of your affection fully.

    You also stated that you asked her if "it was only friendship" and that she replied she is not open for a relationship.

    I agree with you that she knows how you feel about her, and that she needs to give you more space as to not give you the wrong idea about her intentions if that is actually the case. You're right- you shouldn't lead someone on if they don't share the same feelings.

    If you want to end your confusion, perhaps it's time to invite her on a date and see how she responds. It's really the only way to know for sure where her heart is
  5. drsky

    drsky Member

    Hello Sandeep,
    The way it looks, she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now...but like you thought, she is not pushing you away either, since she may be thinking that , "ok lets see how it goes". What you need to do is this.... take it slow with her pace, but you have to desensitize yourself daily, meaning that, if this does not go the way you intended, you should not be totally hurt....yet you dont need to give up on her right away, take your chances with her at the pace she allows you, but be ready to face which ever way, till the day she either commits with you or leaves you. But do be positive...yet be balanced and strong within, that is the only way you can give yourself a chance without hurting yourself too much.
    Now and then, do go an extra step with her.......when she feels comfortable with you or at the right time and see what happens, how she reacts to it....if she doesnt like it...just go back a step or two.

    And pray to GoD daily(for GOD is love) and help couples and singles seeking love and marriage as much as possible, so that
    positive karma/action will bring love into your life.

    Wish you the best,

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