I’ve liked one of my friends since I was a sophomore in high school (I’m now a sophomore in college). There’s something about him that I can’t put my finger on, but all I know is how happy I am when I’m with him and that it’s more than an infatuation, I really do love him both as a person and in a romantic way. During my first year of college, I decided I had had enough of his mixed signals and trying to figure out if he liked me back. Keep in mind that he is quite awkward, has never had a girlfriend, a little immature/insecure when it comes to this area, etc. My plan was that I would tell him how I felt and if he liked me, then great, we could date. And if he didn’t, then I could finally move on. So I told him how I felt and I think he was pretty caught off guard, but he was nice about it and basically told me he likes hanging out with me and hoped that it didn’t ruin our friendship but that he didn’t want me. I was much more devastated than I thought I would be, and even 6 months later it still hurts to think about it. We still haven’t talked about it since it happened. But I’ve dealt with it as healthily as I could; I’m still ambitious about my future, I still go out and meet new people, I still do fun and productive things. But the thing is, I can’t stop liking him. He and I still hang out when we’re back home together and we have such a fun time, it’s like his rejection never even happened. I know he loves me as a friend and enjoys hanging out with me. I also know that he has some personal issues that could be the reason for not wanting me because he’s very guarded when it comes to his feelings. It’s driving me insane that he never gave me an explanation, because I know I’m a good person, I’m smart, I’m cute, and I make him laugh like crazy. Since he never told me why he didn’t like me I’m left to assume that he just simply doesn’t feel that way, but every time I try to let go there’s a little voice in my head that tells me to not give up hope. I truly feel like it’s intuition rather than wishful thinking and I’ve always felt like we have such a connection that runs deeper than friendship. He’s worth it to me to wait for him to figure out what he wants and work out his deep-rooted issues, but when does hope turn to desperation? Like I said, to someone on the outside, this looks like a peak of my life as I have accomplished so many of my personal goals and have a bright future ahead of me. But on the inside I live everyday debating the chances that he will ever want to be with me. I’m a very open minded person so I still talk to new guys and give them chances because I don’t want to miss out on someone great, but it always comes back to him for me. I don’t know what to do because this is taking such a negative toll on my life. I guess I want an opinion on if you think it’s entirely hopeless or if I should keep hoping. Where do I even go from here? Do I try to talk to him about it the next time we’re together? Do I cut him off completely, even though the thought of not even having him as a friend kills me? Why can’t I shake the feeling that there’s something more than friendship between us, and why do I have a gut-feeling that I need to keep hanging on? I know sometimes when someone doesn’t want you, it makes you want them even more but I don’t feel like this is the case - I feel like I genuinely do love him unconditionally and want the best for him simply because of who he is. Someone please help, I am really at my breaking point with this.