Lost hope.

Discussion in 'Relationship Questions' started by soconfused123, Jan 4, 2018.

  1. soconfused123

    soconfused123 New Member

    I'm so lost despite really trying to be happy again after the loss of my husband several years ago. I feel myself giving up on life because it's been 1 challenge after another, including involving the health of my adult children. I don't want to seem so depressed in front of my kids because they get really upset and I don't want them to give up on happiness either but the truth of the matter is we are all having difficulty "moving on". I see some of my widow friends moving in with their boyfriends, getting engaged and some getting married after only a few years. I'm a real relationship person and I seek that so much. I've tried and looked everywhere and I feel so "empty" although in a few relationships I've had the men profess their love to me. I see myself getting older and older (I'm already 60) and although I've always been an optimistic person, I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I've been in therapy since my husband's demise, to no avail (although I think it helps me to some extent).

    The closest thing I have right now in terms of a relationship is a man I've known many years, dated for several years (on and off) and while I'm generally happy spending time with him and we do have chemistry, etc.; both he and I want more (to live together and maybe marry) BUT - he only lives off of social security and can't seem to find a part time job to put himself in a more stable financial situation (which he understands I absolutely need from a partner at this point in my life, especially one I may live with). My other relationship was with a man who said he loved me and he was stable in every way, but the sex was not what I considered "good" and the chemistry for me was minimal (but not for him, he said). My kids really like this 2nd man and for that reason, I kept on trying but I'm pretty tired of all of it.

    Basically, I'm lost and in many ways, I feel like I'm done with life and despite people always telling me, "There's someone out there for you", I really don't believe that anymore, at least not for me. I feel like a failure and maybe just focusing my life on my job and my kids only; although I know that will be really lonely as the years go by.

    Does anyone have a similar experience?

    Thanks for reading this and hopefully, you can help.
  2. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    I don't have a similar experience, but I can tell you not to settle for less. Don't settle with this guy for the sake of having a romantic partner. You have NO idea who else might be out there for you.

    You never have to be lonely, either. You have kids, your life, your job, your friends, your hobbies.... you can live a full and fulfilling life with or without a husband.

    Life is one challenge after another- that's the way it is for Everyone. You sound like me when I've gone through depression. Please stick with your therapy and I hope you can find something to fill your days with hope again

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