Love My Girlfriend, Terrible Smells

Discussion in 'Relationship Questions' started by JustSomePerson, Jul 13, 2018.

  1. JustSomePerson

    JustSomePerson New Member

    Hello. I'm in a sticky situation with the person I love. I've told a couple of my closest people about it, and they are stumped. They have absolutely NO advice for me. One of them is my dad, and we're really close, and he's very wise. So I'm desperate for help, which is why I'm here.

    I almost posted this in the 'Sex Advice' forum, but I worried that my post would get drowned out by all the seedy advertisements there. So largely, this is a sex issue, just to warn you now.

    I am 28, and my girlfriend is 45. It's a bit of a strange relationship just because of the age gap, but we dearly love and appreciate each other. We've been together since November of 2017 (Now it's July of 2018), so almost a year. She has two daughters, 13 and 16, and I get along with them great, and I genuinely care about them, and they care about me even though they don't usually show it (teenagers :p). Never been with a woman with kids, and I don't have kids of my own. She's never been with a man who really cares about her and appreciates her. So this has been an adventure for us both!

    There's just one huge problem, and it's getting harder to handle as time goes on:
    This woman, lovely as she is, has terribly smelly nether regions. That makes me sound like an awful person, and I hate that this is a concern for me at all, but it's true, and it's impossible to ignore. The thing is, she has a clean bill of health. She has no STDs, she has no yeast infections, she has nothing wrong with her body medically.

    It's simply...the way she smells. And it really turns me off. It's very limiting, because I can't bring myself to go down on her, which is one of my favorite things to do in bed. It also limits positioning and switching, and many things, because I just don't want to smell it.

    So I guess one question is, "Maybe you just don't like the way vaginas smell?", but that's not the case. I've been with 13 other women, and some of them carried a more...pungent aroma...and it's NEVER been a problem. You just about can't chase me off it. So my girlfriend's, from what I can tell, is not entirely normal.

    I thought I'd get used to it, or maybe it was just something her body was going through because of some hormonal cycle, so I stuck with it, because she's just so wonderful, and so different and interesting as a person. And her energy is quite sexy. But after almost 8 months, I realize the smell is here to stay. She also ejaculates, which I love, but it makes the problem worse...

    On her end, she loves the sex. Sex is one of her favorite things about life. She's had MANY partners, and tells me I'm the best. And I believe her. She's a no-nonsense kind of woman, and wouldn't lie to save a man's feelings. So that means she wants to have sex with me as much as she can. She's insatiable, really, which is something I love about her, but it is starting to feel like a chore. What hurts about that, though, is we sometimes have these beautiful emotional experiences where we just melt into one another, and she has these releases where she will cry and be filled with love and gratitude. It's so beautiful when it happens. It just doesn't happen very often because this smell knocks me out, and it's hard to get away from. I don't even want to try to describe it. Sometimes I smell it just sitting next to her on the couch or in the car.

    I'm not insecure about the fact that she's had a lot of different sex partners, but I also wonder if that's why? I've heard that semen can change the pH of a vagina, and therefore the smell. And she had a post-divorce patch of super frequent and risky sex with various partners before she met me. Could it be that it altered her body chemistry in some way? And if so, does that mean it can go back?

    I really don't know what the hell to do about this. This woman and I understand and appreciate each other in a way that is deep and beautiful and intriguing. We are supportive of one another, and give each other space in the ways that matter. Our relationship has been...magical, really. I just dread having sex with her most of the time. It's not fair to either of us. Also, she's incredibly intuitive, so I think on some level, she knows something's wrong, but doesn't want to open that can of worms. I don't blame her on that one...

    This is something I could never tell her. Even if I left her, I couldn't tell her why. She already suffers feelings of inadequacy because of old wounds from past men, and sometimes struggles with feelings of being unlovable (also from past men). If I put myself in her shoes, I don't know if I could be okay if the first real love I've ever had, left me because, "Well, your vagina just smells really bad and I can't take it anymore.". There's no way to even say it diplomatically. I couldn't tell her it's the sex, because I actually enjoy the sex itself. I don't want her to think that all those beautiful experiences we had together were somehow a lie, because they weren't.

    I can't do that to her. But I don't know how much longer I can soldier on with it. I also have to think about her daughters' feelings!

    What the hell do I do?!

    TLDR: I love this woman dearly, and she loves me. Our relationship is amazing and her kids like me too. The problem is her downstairs smells unbelievably bad and it's not because of any medical problem, and I can't handle it much longer. WTF.
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2018

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