Married but never had sex

Discussion in 'Marital Problems' started by Renolami, Nov 17, 2017.

  1. Renolami

    Renolami New Member

    My wife and I have been married for five and a half years (together for eleven and a half) and have never had full sex.

    When we got together, having been friends for around 9 months, she told me that she did not believe in sex before marriage. We were both 19 year old virgins and so I accepted it, thinking along the lines of not being able to miss what I had never had.

    After around four months she agreed to some sexual contact, namely 'manual' sex (handjobs and fingering). We carried on this way for almost the next six years and married in May 2012. During this time I would say that we had sexual contact, on average, three or four times a month (including when we began living together 6 months before our marriage).

    On our wedding night she said that she was too tired and suggested that we wait until the following night when we would be back home and more rested, to which I somewhat reluctantly agreed.

    The next night came and went. The following day we left for our honeymoon. On the first night of the trip we spoke about it and compromised on continuing from where we had left off, so to speak (hands only). Another five and a half years on and we are still in exactly the same place. On average, three or four handjobs a month.

    I could genuinely count on one hand the number of times that she has fully initiated sexual contact and feel that I have to put in 90% of the effort. It is so rare that I feel that she is really into it; two hands may be not quite enough for counting that...

    I have felt compelled to reach out only now as, due in part to her being slightly unwell recently, we have reached a new low (only two intimate moments in the last 6 weeks or so). I feel that I am now becoming depressed about it and would be interested to see what anyone has to say/suggest about this situation.

  2. LoveAdmin

    LoveAdmin Administrator Staff Member

    You really need to seek professional help.
  3. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    Yes, professional help is in order here. You are a very patient man, and I suspect there are some psychological issues at play here that are preventing your wife from being able to express herself in a "normal" sexual way. Good luck!
  4. Beccy

    Beccy New Member

    PROFESSIONAL HELP! There is something wrong on her party that is refraining her from sex. you must talk to her about it and seek help
  5. advi

    advi New Member

    professional help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. Peter James

    Peter James New Member

    Your wife is seriously ill. She has a psychological disorder and only a psychiatrist will help here. There is a disease when women are afraid of sex.

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