my father is against my love marriage :(

Discussion in 'Family Issues' started by amberfaizu, Dec 25, 2012.

  1. amberfaizu

    amberfaizu New Member

    hello....please i need some advice em facing sum very serious problems...i really love a guy n he loves me too...v r togethr since 6 years...n he sent proposal 2 years bk n my papa demanded a house from thm n his family said no to the demand then v were nt able to leave each othr so v decided to stay in contct n try harder for ths house ...he worked day n night ...his doing a job in pakistan airlines bt his salary is v less ...he tried in many othr places bt every seat demanded some money..his family doesnt support him...aftr 1 year n 7 months v came to a conclusion dat building a home is not possible for him yet thn he fought alot at home n they gv him a share in da buisness wid which he earn one lac plus...bt still he cant build da house dat soon i tried to convince my fathr widout ds house bt situation turned worst my fathr said no to them n threatened thm to stay away from me n keep da guy away from me n dat he better not contct me :( ...my fathr threatened them 3 tyms n i cry day n night my fathr said go n die bt i wont say yes becoz my fathr want showmint ..he cares for othr people he want to make me da wife of a v v rich person n da person i love belongs to a middle class family :( i dont know wot to do my fathr says he wud kill me or himself bt wont say yes to ds proposal just bcoz he doesnt has house :( please em mentally destroyed ..wot shud i do?
     
  2. ffisher

    ffisher New Member

    You can do what you wish, but it is obvious you have two options - go with your love, or listen to your father.

    If you go with your love, you risk loosing the support of your father, if you listen to your father you will lose your life ... tough dilemma, but you are the only one that can decide. Unfortunately for you a win-win scenario doesn't seem likely to happen.
     
  3. schomeearnings

    schomeearnings New Member

    I hate that you are in a situation like this. I know this has to be hard, but sometimes you have to do what is best for you. You know your father loves you and you know that your lover loves you, however, it doesn't seem like they would love or even tolerate each other. As mentioned by ffisher, you seem like you are in a win-lose situation. Me personally I have to say your Family will always be there for you no matter what. My father didn't want me to get married, but I felt like it was best for me, so I did. My father still didn't like it because he said my husband took me away from him, but he has come around and cares for my husband now. Everyone is different, but you have to do what is best for you :)
     
  4. fancyfingers

    fancyfingers New Member

    How about you help save for the house too? If you love both your fiance and your father, it may be your way to get married and keep your father happy. A house can be destroyed in a minute, so, if you plan on a place to live, along with a plan on when, where, how and why you will be building a house, that could make everyone happy. Good luck to you.
     
  5. mz_angie1987

    mz_angie1987 New Member

    I agree with the above posts! I think you should be able to do whatever you want to do, this is your life--not your fathers'. I can't believe your father said he would kill you, now that is taking it overboard. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this but if you really love this guy then you are going to have to go against your fathers' will and be with him. It may cause you to end your relationship with your father but it's up to you. I wish you all the luck in the world.
     
  6. claudine

    claudine New Member

    This really is an awful situation. But you are in love, you found a person who is so dear to you - I think it's the most important. More important than your father's rules. I think you shouldn't listen to him. You can't give up on love because of material things. I hope with time your father will accept your relationship.
     
  7. Jhon

    Jhon New Member

    Well!!According to me that we should be obedient to our parents.I dont like
    the love marriage.According to my search that arrange mariage is the best
    for spend the happy life...
     
  8. LoveAdmin

    LoveAdmin Administrator Staff Member

    The western world would disagree. We generally look at arranged marriages as something horrible that is imposed and a violation of human rights to choose
     
  9. nene5

    nene5 New Member

    Wow that does sound like a painful situation. I know not all cultures practice arranged marriages. However many western couples struggle with the desire to have the approval of their parents. You can do one of two things. You can stay with your love and get married. Or you could break up with your loved one and marry someone you don't want. It seems your father is quite obsessed with monetary gain and not your happiness. You are an adult. You can't always live your life for someone else. I think you should stay with the guy you love.
     
  10. Jhon

    Jhon New Member

    Thanks a lot....
     
  11. Jolia

    Jolia New Member

    You are in a very grave situation, there aren’t many words of support I can offer with any confidence that they will make a difference. I agree with other posts that put it as simply as possible: You need to do what you want, what is most important to you, but you will be giving up something else that is important in your life. If you go with your fiancée you will lose your father’s love, trust and support. You can assume that he may not want to speak with you for a very long time. If you listen to your father, you can expect to have lost your fiancée in few months, once he realizes there’s no hope he will move on. The question you need to ask yourself is what will make you the happiest? What will be the most defining option in your life?
     
  12. tierneytg

    tierneytg New Member

    Hey dear. In my religion the same things apply because it is up to our fathers to approve of the marriage. You will always have him in your heart, the one you love. No one can take that from you, but it would be best to listen to your father because what he wants fom you is not a bad thing. He just wants to make sure you will not have to want for things. Your love will be sure to grow in an arranged marriage if you treat your husband kind and with rerspect. Family is important so listen to your father and be patient.
     
  13. appleannie123

    appleannie123 New Member

    This is a difficult position to be in. When you love someone, and he/she loves you in return you feel like nothing could ever be different. You also feel like nothing should stand in your way. I can understand where your father is coming from. I can also understand what you are trying to say. I do not know if your man could move anywhere and maybe make a better life for himself elsewhere. Then when he makes a better life for himself, he can send for you.
    I do not care too much for my father. I would run away and marry with or without his consent. He would come to accept it in time. I am not advising to do this. Things are different in the United States. This is where I live. I do not come from a traditional family of any type of culture. I am merely saying this is what I would do.
     
  14. samreddevilz

    samreddevilz New Member

    In a situation like this, You really have nothing to do. Just try to make your father understand. You may take help from other family members.... Also your relatives!
     

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