Negative sister stressing me out

Discussion in 'Family Issues' started by lifeflower, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. lifeflower

    lifeflower New Member

    I am sure you guys have all met very negative people who are anxious, unhappy about their lives, and don't trust anyone. My sister is like that. For years I have been listening to her complaints, tried to talk her out but ended up quarelling with her and felt all my energy drained out. I could not ignore her though because she is my sister and I love her no matter what. But I worry a lot about her and she is putting loads of stress on me, as if my life is not stressful enough.
    How do you guys deal with similar situation??? I know that negative people just crave love and positive energy, but I'm afraid I don't have that much energy to feed her. What can I do???
  2. Josie

    Josie New Member

    I've dealt with the same and all I can offer, is that you need to start putting yourself first. You've tried to help and if it's not appreciated, in that she won't take your advice and caring to heart and use it to better her situations, then there is no longer a point. You're willingly putting your energy into draining your energy. Doesn't make sense, does it?

    I guess since it's your sister, just offer acknowledgement of her frustration and redirect the conversation from there. I would do my best to keep the mood light and conversation on other things. I would also redirect her to happier activities, hoping she would put her focus elsewhere and actually become happier in the process. If all else fails, tell her what you told us.
  3. Trellum

    Trellum New Member

    I avoid that kind of people... if you can't be open and honest about how this is affecting you, then I advice you to try to spend less time with her. Try to advice her to start a diary, so she can write all her thoughts in there! It helps a lot! You can also try to change the topic, but odds are she will switch it back. You need to learn not to absorb other people's emotions and only focus on your own. I've mastered the art of listening, but ignoring everything being said to me.
  4. readwritelearnlove

    readwritelearnlove New Member

    It's easier said than done, but the best thing to do is to try to separate yourself from her. The only way she will ever change is if she wants to change, not because someone is telling her to or trying to get her to change. It can be very difficult to be around somebody like that, negativity can be very contagious. Put yourself first and put some space between the two of you. I've had to completely cut someone out of my life before because her negativity was completing draining me. It was the hardest decision I've ever made and has turned out to be the best decision as well. It was a family member so it killed me to think of doing it, but in the end, I am a much happier person now because her toxicity is not infecting me anymore. And because I am more happy, my little family at home is thriving as well.
  5. garrodrebecca

    garrodrebecca New Member

    Does your sister really thinking about you like that ? I don't think she will. She is very much happy with her life. So, you are so much frustrating ? If you thought your sister disturbing in your life then just try to avoid her. Not to share anything with her at anytime.
  6. chanelskii

    chanelskii New Member

    I think the moment she starts being so negative try to make her feel that you're uncomfortable with it. Try to shut her out or talk about something else. Make her see that you don't like negativity, and then try talking about the positives since it helps making other people optimistic. I also think that maybe you should stop convincing and arguing with her because it is pointless. It will just make you less energized and less happy which you do not need in your life.
  7. Barbie

    Barbie New Member

    You need to stop thinking of your sister as 'negative' and start thinking of her how she is, perhaps she anxious, depressed or something else. Maybe she's had something stressful happen to her that's caused this or maybe she has a medical condition that makes her feel this way. She isn't a being that wants to feed off of your positive energy she seems like what she needs is a loving sibling who will listen to her. She doesn't seem like a bad person, just a sad person. Take some time out to just listen, don't try to cheer her up, don't try to make her see it another way, just listen. When she's all done talking she will feel better. Make her feel involved, invite her out for drinks or a coffee or to your best friends birthday party, she will appreciate it more than you think, and maybe more than she let's on. Please don't shut her out or ignore her, she is your sister and she loves you, all she needs is someone to trust.
  8. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy New Member

    Don't ever think that your sister is a negative person who is anxious, unhappy about her life and do not trust anyone. Since she is your sister you should not think that she is stressing your life. You are a family and the best thing that you could do if you do not want to see her acting that way is to reach out to her. Maybe she is going through or struggling for something that your family did not know. Give her a nice approach and positive motivation and ask her if she had problems you are there for her. And when she already talked about those things tried to listen and give her good words of wisdom that will inspire her to have new visions in life. Just remember no sister or even a member of our family would want to give us a stressful life and I knew your sister is not just feeling good in her life now that is why she is acting this way. Be understanding and have that faith that it will soon be over.

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