Older man, confused about intentions??

Discussion in 'Dating Advice' started by Meow1189, Jan 4, 2018.

  1. Meow1189

    Meow1189 New Member

    Hi, so to start off I'm 21 years old and I work at a hotel at the front desk. I started working there a little over a year ago, and there is a manager there who started working there a few months after me. He's 38, he is also married and has 2 kids. He's just very... weird towards me.
    So when I first started working there I briefly dated this guy from the maintenance dept and it was innocent and whatever but for some reason, this manager hated him. He was always looking for reasons and ways to fire him, but only after he realized the guy was interested in me. After he got confirmation that we were dating (he kind of figured it out on his own) he would give me random advice and repeatedly tell me that he was a bad guy and I shouldnt be dating him. To be fair, he ended up being right, and the guy was a total dick and when my manager found out the kid fucked me over, he got really protective and took me into thr back and talked me through it for like an hour. He continued to lecture me about not dating guys like that and staying away from the kid when he was nice to me. And the second I would be friendly with the kid my manager would get annoyed with me and try to physically separate us. When word got out that he was sleeping with another girl we worked with (months later) my manager literally tracked me down in the building to tell me with the most excited expression and tone in his voice. Later on when they fired the kid, he was very excited to tell me that too, and got mad when I defended the kid (we were kind of friends at this time). And on the occasion that he would ask if I had heard from the kid, and I told him no, he immediately cut me off to say "good, you don't need him in your life." After that there was another kid they hired that flirted with me a lot and i never really showed an interest in him, but he told another worker (who told me) that he eventually fired that kid because he kept trying to get with me, then he said that he would have fired me if I did that because it would be the second time I didn' take his advice and went with a shitty guy.
    Now that stuff is all weird and kind of invasive of my relationship/dating life, and seems oddly jealous too, but theres' a weird hint of fatherly protectiveness as well.
    Anytime someone would get loud with me hed step in immediately. He is also constantly giving me advice for my life and school and tips on how to navigate the city while expressing concern for my safety. He would also encourage me to no end to not give up on school and to be confident and happy.
    He also makes comments on my appearance a lot as well. I dye my hair a lot, and the ends were kind of dead and destroyed and he lectured me for 20 minutes about cutting it saying "it would look really good short" and when I did cut it the next day he said "no you could do it even shorter, it's still look really good" he also kept pushing and insisting I attend a work party every day I saw him until the event, and then said I should do something with my hair. When I did he commented on it for hours tellin everyone at the party how nice my hair looked. At that same party I drank alcohol and he was protective of me asking how i was getting home, if I needed a ride, and rubbed my arm in a comforting way when I said i was close to having a panic attack. And just today I did my hair and makeup different because I was bored and had a lot of time and as soon as he saw me he started commenting on it saying it looked so nice and that I was "glowing" and "looked so happy" and that I should do it more often like that because it made me look happy and I should look happy and stuff like that. Then he started shouting about it to every other employee.
    So like idk what this guys deal is. He's a weird guy, but he seems to target me for a lot of that behavior. Im not attempting to establish anything or hook up with this man because he is married and has a family I'm just confused and want to figure out what his deal is.
    Is he looking at me like a father figure since he knows my home life isn't the best and my parents had always been neglecting?
    Is he attracted to me and wants it?
    But yea sorry for the long story, any help is appreciated! Thanks!
  2. Unnaturalthings

    Unnaturalthings Active Member

    There seems to be an attraction there- but the nature is up in the air. Yes, it could be a romantic attraction he is putting on the back burner. It could be a protective, fatherly feeling. You could remind him of someone he cares about a lot, like a little sister. You may be giving off a vibe that says you need a hand in life and he is reacting to it (such as rubbing your arm during a panic attack, sticking up for you when you were mistreated, etc)

    Who knows? You've stated you're not interested (good for you) so unless he is doing something that is making you feel threatened or uncomfortable, I wouldn't think about it.

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