Please help...I think I am in love with someone else

Discussion in 'Relationship Questions' started by Questions on Love, Jul 12, 2017.

  1. Questions on Love

    Questions on Love New Member


    I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for going on seven years. We first got together in our late teens and have stayed together as a couple and as best friends since then.
    I have never met anyone who has understood and appreciated me more, and if I am honest of all the beautiful and wonderfully nice girls I have met over the years, none of them have grabbed my attention enough to truly care. I actually intended on building our relationship futher, beyond just being 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. Sadly we do lack great psychical and sexual connection as she has an issue that causes sex to be very painful, of which she is too embarrassed to seek professional help, but I try my best to be understanding and supportive.

    Anyhow. I have been working at place for a few years and there I met a girl, I'll just refer to her as my 'co-worker', and I'll be honest I was taken back by her looks immediately. I should point out that it was nothing more than just attraction, and every guy who meets her seems to feel the same. However I did become friends with her unintentionally, we were/are very different in so many ways, but we got on very well and felt comfortable with one another since we were both in relationships. It's fair to say I developed a little crush and it was showing, or at least I was told by other colleagues. We distanced ourselves from one another and it was noticed around the workplace, I decided I wanted to stay loyal to my lovely faithful girlfriend, and distancing myself would end the butterflies in my stomach.

    We both moved on in different areas within our workplace. However we soon began speaking again shortly after the break up with her then boyfriend, she asked to meet at work and I did, often chatting for an hour and returning late for work. We met frequently and spoke at length about our lives and her dating situation, sometimes it turned awkward I admit, I hated myself for often looking at her and thinking "wow! You're incredibly cute and beautiful", I beat myself up pretty hard about it. Eventually we did distance ourselves again, almost simultaneously (why she did the same I am not sure) and out of sight out of mind was my idea. Now we only look at one another in the corner of our eyes, never chatting or saying hello. However I will soon be working with her again, not by my choice of course, seeing her again and us not talking or ignoring each other in awkward silence made me feel awful, still does. I missed chatting to her and seeing her laugh and telling me about her day. I still in a small way miss it, and I am really dreading working wit her again, even if we don't directly need to communicate.

    I realised perhaps I was/am falling in love with her. I hate myself as I am already in a committed relationship with a very kind and lovely woman who cares about me truly. The girl at work is WAY different from me, especially as she can get a ton of guys, and I'm a very average looking dude that I wouldn't say is her "type". I really don't know what to do. I am being emotionally unfaithful and I am making myself miserable.

    What do you think? Any suggestions?
  2. lilythe

    lilythe New Member

    Hmm, well I'm not really great on this kind of thing, but, may I ask, do you still love your girlfriend? Who do you feel more connected to at the moment? If the answer is still your girlfriend, then this might just be a little crush on your co worker. You do not want to end up dumping your long term girlfriend for a relationship that might only last a month or two! If she can truly attract any guy she wants, you might want to be careful that she is not just using you as a play toy and is going to dump you soon after.
    Hope this helps?

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