So,this is kind of awkward and graphic. The guy I am seeing is very tall. We are about to have sex very soon,probably this weekend,i am hoping. I want to. For me,things are more serious when sex happens and it feels like it's just about time,or almost time. Well,my first question is,i am nervous about the size difference. So far,when we kiss standing up,i always have to stretch my neck up to meet him,which i'm sure looks cute,but after awhile of making out,my neck gets sore. lol. i noticed that the next day after we kept making out all night while out. When we lay on his couch,the height difference is nothing and in fact,his build feels very nice on me because he is larger and it feels like he's covering me a lot which feels sexy and secure. For some reason,i feel really,really attracted to him more then i have been to any guy in a very long time when we kiss,it's like whoa. He is an amazing kisser. So,we clearly have spark so i'm guessing it'll grow even deeper now. We also have a mental spark. I remember when we kissed on our first date when he dropped me off,he moaned when he first kissed me which threw me off,and it was in a way like he was nervous and it just came out and he couldn't control himself,like a 16 year old having his first kiss with a really hot girl. I have a feeling we both drive each other very crazy. So,my first concern is sex with him based on his size down there. I don't want to be graphic,but it's well known the stereotype about tall guys,and well,it makes sense and everything else on him is so much bigger,it kinda seems that would have to be as well,though maybe not. His hands are so much huger then other guy's hands,his tongue is so much huger,and his tongue is so sexy. I am not one go crazy about a tongue,because,i mean,it's a tongue,who pays that much attention to a tongue, but it's so huge and wide in my mouth that it just feels really good. Idk,the kissing between us two,is just whoa. I don't usually date taller guys and am concerned the sex might hurt? I dated one taller guy before and he was bigger,and sex did hurt,and he is shorter a few inches then guy i'm dating now. I'm worried the sex might be painful because of him being big and how likely is he to be much bigger then average? I don't like sex on top especially for first time sex,and i know that's a recommended position. I'm hoping our first time sex can be slow,missionary and loving. But,i made a joke about doggie style about something and now wonder could be hoping for that since let's face it,probably all guy's favorite sex position but not my favorite for first time sex. I've also referenced something guy i dated before said about having having sex with me very roughly,and i know guy i'm dating now made a joke about a guy banging the s--- out of a girl so for all i know maybe that's what he is expecting or wanting plus since he is less experienced then me,maybe he doesn't know any better yet to not go too rough. He is the sweetest person so i know he'd never do anything wrong. My other issue is,he is so much more normal then other guys i dated,and i have a bit of a past. I usually like guys who are more idk weird in a way because they are less judgmental and i can just say things. I was sexually assaulted before and and have minor ptsd still and am worried about that affecting things. It's weird,but he is the only guy i feel fear to tell that,to. Other guys i wouldn't have feared telling and i'm sure they knew or did know for sure yet somehow this guy,i worry he'd judge me or something. It's weird. He judges things like friends with benefits and open relationships very negatively and normally i'm just super open with telling guys things if it comes up because that's how i am,but with him,i feel i have to guard it for awhile at least. I just want sex for us to go very smoothly. i'm not normally this nervous but with him being so normal,and slightly inexperienced,and the size difference between us and my past,i just wonder what tips to make this go smoother. He is someone I see sticking around for awhile and it's a much different kind of relationship then i'm used to lately,that's for sure. If something comes up during sex,i'll tell him otherwise,i'll wait until sometime when it comes up on it's own. So,yeah,that's what i'll do. if it comes up,it comes up,otherwise i'm not bringing it up. Also,the other thing,i lately have sex with guys much sooner,too and tend to prefer it,because then those nerves are out of the way,and you become closer,but with this guy,we've talked and talked and pretty much a couple,but not yet sex. It's just total opposite direction for me. It feels like high school all over again. He makes me feel young.I am worried about being bad at sex.