This will be more of a rant, but your words of support are welcomed

Discussion in 'Family Issues' started by eve.ashley, Apr 22, 2016.

  1. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    I've got family in the region of former Yugoslavia. I grew up seeing these people and some of them were my age some are younger, some are older...
    Ever since young age there was a noticeable difference in mentality...I came from a whole different set of values, rules and knowledge...

    You know how confirmation bias makes people look foe "knowledge" in places that will not upset their worldview and what they already think is true and reality?

    Well, that's what would happen and my cousins might have almost the same access to information I do, in this information age, but they don't use it to better their life but to reinforce old prejudice...

    From a very early age I felt very responsible to tell my family there the things I've learned that they haven't yet...They would of course not listen and I'd become neurotic and feel guilty I am failing at helping them...

    They are pragmatic peasant people who like material possessions, use the rest of us if they can, discard us when they don't need us, they think men hit women when women have a big mouth and that's OK, or if women are sluts and cheat...Smoke indoors in front of children...Teachers smoke in schools...
    LGBTQ phobic and racist, in an intricate, not crude way...You know..They think they are not racist or LGBTQ phobic just coiz they would not lynch people of other races or sexualities..

    All this would terrify me, I'd try to talk to them...I would become very neurotic as a 13 year old trying to tell them that second hand smoking well...

    Anyway as an adult I've learned that I can't help these people, all I do is get neurotic, hurt myself and they reject my idea, anyway...So I stopped trying...

    However, one of my cousins in her immediate family they have this pronounced problem with early onset of diabetes two.

    Now I am a coeliac and I was very dumb about it, It took me years to finally check if I was one, since I was a bloody vegetarian and cutting out everything with gluten went against my "got to not hurt animals" juvenile ideas...

    I am still very angry at myself that it took me 20 years of healthy issues, and meeting my bf, who is much younger than me, so from a generation which knows where to find knowledge better than my generation. Who has got type one diabetes, and has looked into the new research on diet and autoimmune diseases, and paleo eating, to actually check myself out and realize, yes, all my health issues come down to coeliac disease...

    Now, I understand that research of paleo eating is still fairly new and that most people will not consider it transforming mine, or my bfs health as anything but circumstantial, anecdotal proof, and that I should not try and convince anyone...

    I understand also that there's loads of silly things that are not paleo eating at all being pushed right now as paleo, it being the newest way humans are trying to eat, (ironically, since it's the oldest way we ate and for 2.6 millions of year of our evolution), and it's catching on as a trend....

    However, let me say two thigns, paleo is here to stay science will prove it's an optimal diet for all humans, and also I am a coeliac we are advanced enough to understand this is an actual recognized disease, and that it means gluten is poison to my body and I can't eat it...

    This brings me to my point. I have had PCOS since I was 12...I never had proper bowel movement, since I was a toddler I've had constipation. Allergies, child asthma. Was skinny, and then at 12 got serious problems with my periods and androgenic hair, inflammation and edema...Over the years I was diagnosed with PCOS, and well it's something doctors have no idea where it comes from, my type is not insulin resistant and I had aesthetic problems rather than putting weight on, and doctors do not care much for it...

    Not unless you are trying to conceive and you cant, whihc most women with my type of PCOS can...(There are 4 types of PCOS)

    I've learned to use mild laxatives, got use to my teeth rotting out, though I've had good oral hygiene, would use a water pill for edema, and would pluck, silk epil, shave, electrolysis-ize, coz I had androgenic hair on my face and it would come back even after permanent removal and such...

    Even with edema and inflammation, I was never overweight coz I was a mindful eater, thought I ate all thigns that poison me too, I was a runner and worked out 2- 3 times a week lightly...

    I had had colonoscopy, I've went to all sorts of doctors, but at the mention of wheat making me ill, I would ignore it...I was told I should eat meat but not wheat, perhaps, as a vegetarian I was not ready for that...

    I'd eat good food, quality food, only wrong food unfortunately...I'd spend more on food then on clothes, lol

    Anyway....I will meet my bf, he will sort me out, it did help that I stopped being a vegetarian 2 years before I met him and was back on omnivorous, Western diet of mostly sugar, lol I was just tired of minding what I eat and perpetuating non violence, when all I got was bad health and violence...

    Over the years when I was in my 20s, remember those cousins I mentioned. They had kids, kids were pre teens and teens...
    Now they all develop diabetes two by the time they are 50. They eat standard Western diet, and some of the women have PCOS, the type that makes you put on weight and be overweight to obese, (insulin resistant type), and some the type I have, where you struggle with inflammation, edema, androgenic hair but not weight and insulin resistance...

    Now all of these women get diabetes, only overweight ones in their earls 30s or sooner, and normal weight ones in their early 50s...Men also get diabetes only late in their 50s...

    My side of the family we get autoimmune problems like thyroid problems and blood pressure problems, but we do not have diabetes two in our gene pool...But we share PCOS problems and autoimmune problems...

    So one of my little cousins was not a skinny kid...She was never a fat kid, but she was not a skinny kid...Her mum dealt with it with restricting her eating...It made both me and the kid neurotic....The little girl could not understand that her own mother won't let her eat, and I could not understand why anyone would hate their kid so much to tell the kid it's fat and should eat less...Any attempt to try and talk to the mother failed, I was told she is jsut trying not to have her put on weight and be miserable and fat...

    After trying so many times to talk to the mother, and being dismissed, finally, like I mentioned, I chose my own sanity and just stopped seeing them at all...

    The little cousin has an aunt who died on dialyses coz she was obese all her life, had diabetes since she was 27 and not obese yet, and was one of those type two diabetics that had to go on insulin which she, in her ignorance, refused...She was infertile and it was clear she has PCOS but never talked about it, she actually claimed her husband can't have kids...

    I would see my little cousin 3 years ago at 17. She was an active kid that worked out, tried to eat well and still was slightly overweight, had serious problems with acne , facial hair and clearly was having the same PCOS her auntie had...

    I tried to tell her and her mother that she is in danger of early onset of diabetes, and infertility, that she does not have BIG BONES that she has insulin resistance most probably and needs to see an endocrinologist...AS ALWAYS I WAS DISMISSED...

    I didn't even try to go to gluten, and the suspicions science is having lately that problems such as ours are all linked back to switching to gluten as a human race...I don't even expect any of you to listen to me in that respect...

    But surely we all have heard about PCOS for long enough now to know it's real and that my cousin who eats better than most people in her life and exercises more, is NOT a fat kid, a person with fat genes, she has insulin resistance and she is on her way to diabetes in a few years...
    She will have fertility issues, and not to mention psychological damage of thinking that there must be something wrong with your head coz it seems you gained 10 pounds in 2 days without changing your diet....

    She has been told she is fat since early age and she is fat coz she eats too much, she's a glutton, if you will, that had to devastate her, and especially since it's not true...She eats about the same amount all of us do, and she gets cravings coz she is malnourished and tired, insulin resistance does not let her body use glucose as fuel properly...

    I was dismissed by her mother, by her, (she is 19 now and seems to have no interest in knowing me, which is OK, to be hoenst I don't even like her), however...


    I feel guilty...Should I try one more time talking to her about her health?Last time I tried talking to her I was trying to talk to her and her mum, she was 17...

    For the irony to be greater she is a nurse, she was going to nursing school at 17 and all I was trying to say was, ask your teachers to help you check your potential PCOS problems out, and talk to an endocrinologist...The thing is region of former Yugoslavia is corrupt. The doctors are really bad, and malpractice that kills someone and doesn't get sanctioned, is so common I'd hear of someone dying coz doctors did a very poor job, every year I'd visit...

    I am not talking complicated stuff, I am talking a woman going into a hospital with a stroke, one doctor orders cat scan or MRI, another, senior doctor says, what, waste resources and time on a woman who is having hot flashes and they send her home, in a hours time, she is in a coma and a vegetable...

    Stuff like that, so chances are even if she tried to ask around in school, nobody cared to help her...But now she lives in Germany and will have access to better doctors if she would just realize she needs to see a specialist...

    To make thigns worse our relationship as a family was based on my family helping them....We would give them material stuff and jobs, over the years...My family was really good to them, and when my family came into financial trouble and no longer could hire them and pay them more than they earned, or give them stuff, they lost all interest to know us, lol

    So now this young woman is 19 she does not care to know me, she has other people from the family help them now and we are just useless family that nobody even remembers that both her mum and her dad used to work for us, and be over-paid, coz "they are family", that we would buy them furniture, pay their legal fees when they get in trouble for not paying taxes...etc..

    Now we are considered a bit of bums, coz we are now useless to their purpose, and they still have family that does that for them...

    So she and the rest of their family simply ignores us...

    That's OK, it's just do I owe her to try and talk to her one more time about her health?
     
  2. eve.ashley

    eve.ashley Well-Known Member

    I realize its a *Bernie sanders voice* YUGE post , but no one? Really?
     

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