To tutor or not to tutor?

Discussion in 'Other Advice, Opinions and Concerns' started by LeeLoo Pooh, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. LeeLoo Pooh

    LeeLoo Pooh New Member

    I tutored a guy for a long time and during this time I started having feelings for him. This is why naturally I found the time for him even when I was busy, I would make sure to hang out with him and we slowly started becoming good friends.

    I cannot say he hasn't done things for me because he has, but then again, I devoted a lot of time and effort into teaching him Italian. We spent the summer talking almost every day, he would call me and text me and then - he stopped. When I told him I was bothered by this, he wrote a message on how he texts millions of people every day and how my last text wasn't so important and it shouldn't bother me. I then finally admitted my feelings towards him to which he said he cannot be in relationships, but didn't want to tell me why (my guess now is that he is gay and in denial, but I might be very wrong). At this moment - I kind of lost interest.

    The thing is my life is super hectic, and I just can't find enough time or will power to keep tutoring him, especially knowing he doesn't like me in a romantic way. When I do hang out with him, he always brings up Italian lessons and I have a feeling he is being super nice hoping I would tutor him again. (he needs Italian for his work). Every time he calls to check up on me, he somehow brings into the story how his Italian has got worse. I also was giving him a lot of tutoring for virtually no money (he offered to pay more, but you know - a girl in love). And now I have a full-time job and I don't have to tutor people any more. And I don't want to tutor him. I also am going back to school, my schedule is insane. If I do hang out with friends, I want it to be relaxing, not tiring.

    But I have a feeling if I stopped tutoring him, it would hurt our friendship. But then again, are we only friends because I tutor him? As I said, he has done things for me in the past - but I am just very confused. Any thoughts? Thanks!

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