What does this mean?

Discussion in 'Dating Advice' started by brockb, Sep 12, 2011.

  1. brockb

    brockb New Member

    well this is gonna be a long one. my girlfriend of 6 months recently told me she can't handle anything serious right now. she told me she still has strong feelings for me and still likes me a lot. she said she wants me to be there as her best friend and she still needs me right now. we still talk everyday and she still wants to hangout and see me. i asked her what if someone else came along and she said "if she doesn't want anything we me with she not gonna want something with someone else" i also said you can develop feelings and she said " i can't develop anything stronger then what i have for you". she said she can't even think about me being going for good and she was pretty upset over all this. she promises me there is no one else. she said she's not gonna run off with someone else but that doesn't mean i can't..she said
    "you can do whatever you want". then i said so it wouldn't bother if i ran off with someone else? and she said "of course it would i still like you" so what does all this mean? im so confused right now...
     
  2. Pambeacher

    Pambeacher New Member

    I am sorry you are going through this right now. I know it is difficult when you think a relationship is heading in a directions, then all of a
    sudden it heads in another direction.It is hard to address this situation, without knowing how old you are. At any rate it just seems as though she is confused of what she wants. She has genuine feelings for you, but perhaps there is something holding her back. Unfortunately only time will tell. You must be patient, and not force the issue as that will just push her away. Just keep on your course. If it is meant to be, it will definitely happen. Just keep your head up. As my mom would say, "Never let them see you sweat"
     
  3. Amerise

    Amerise New Member

    I am sorry to hear about what you're going through. I actually have some experience with this as I am currently going through it right now with my ex of 6.5 years. I can tell you that, for us, being "just friends" has not been working very well. When you have been with someone for a substantial length of time and they decide they aren't ready for a serious relationship all of a sudden, it really does a number to your mental and emotional state. My suggestion? Let it go. You can't force someone to be ready for something they aren't, no matter how much you care for them or they profess to care for you. I know that's not what you want to hear (believe me, it's not what I wanted to hear with my situation either!) but I honestly can't see any other way. It's too easy to blur the line between friend and something more when you both still care for each other, and all that will do is make you more confused and hurt.
     
  4. M.H.West

    M.H.West New Member

    It sounds to me as if she just needs some space. You can love someone very much and yet still feel a bit smothered. I wouldn't worry just yet. Just give her a bit of space and allow her to make the calls a little bit longer. If things don't change after a few months of giving her some space then just sit down with her and ask her exactly what does she expect out of you. Don't make her answer right away either. Give her a couple of days to think about an answer. She just might now know herself right now. Good luck and best wishes.
     
  5. moves_like_jagger

    moves_like_jagger New Member

    I think she is just confused and not sure of what she really wants yet out of your relationship, and at the same time she is being selfish. She wants to let you go, but does not want you to be with someone else. She is also being selfish to herself because she wants you, yet she is depriving herself of you. She has mixed emotions of what you have. Maybe you can help her realize things. Maybe you can set some time apart with each other to assess your feelings towards each other. Being apart and being busy with a lot of things might make you realize if one person really matters to you. Then you take it from there. Just be always prepared of whatever decision you will arrive at in the end. Best of luck to both of you!
     

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