Won’t have unprotected sex or do oral

Discussion in 'Sex Advice' started by unknown21, Dec 13, 2017.

  1. unknown21

    unknown21 New Member

    I’m a 40 year old male who has been in love with a certain female since high school.

    I hadn’t seen her in a few years but still thought of her occasionally.

    3 years ago she came to work at the same company I work for. We became close friends, with her still not knowing how I felt. She was married with two kids.

    We talked a lot, about life in general, family, weather etc etc...

    Again, she’s been my dream girl for 15 + years. But I never mentioned it to her.

    During one of our talks , it turned to sex, likes dislikes and so on.

    She named a lot of people she had slept with in high school, some I know some I didn’t.

    But, one particular one was my best friend.
    Fast forward a few months and she’s divorced.

    She showed interest in me, and I was delighted!! Like a dream come true, finally getting the one I’ve always wanted!
    After going out a few times, one night it appeared sex was imminent, but, my mind went back to her saying who all she slept with and I couldn’t do it !
    I wanted to, but my mind wouldn’t let me.

    I tried telling her but she was hurt, upset and confused.

    I can’t have sex with her because of it, let alone be with her in a relationship. There’s no way in hell I’d ever get past her being with him.

    Anyone else ever feel this way ?

    I have harsh rules on sex, I know that.
    I’ve never done oral on anyone due to not wanting my mouth where someone had their dick.

    And I’ve never had unprotected sex.

    But for some reason I can’t even do her with a condom.
  2. Soul-searcher

    Soul-searcher New Member

    It seems to me you have too high expectations. The fact that she was with your best friend was in high school, over 20 years ago, how can it matter today??? it should not affect your feelings for her now. What is it that triggers you about your high school friend?? Do you feel betrayed?? Yes, it can hurt, then, but not now, it shouldn't.You never told her how you feel back then, so you can't blame your friend or the girl you like, you can only blame yourself! You just have to decide what is more important to you. Letting the girl you always wanted go because she slept with your best friend a million years ago, of course she has a past, everyone does, even you. Or try to get past that. It seems to me you put people up on a pedistal, you have to remember people are just people, they make mistakes, i'm sure you are not perfect either and has luggage too.

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